just a small town girl...

adios 2011. HOLA 2012!!!

2012-01-10T14:04:00.000-06:00

Well... it's been over a month since my last post. I've been unemployed for over a month. Christmas has come and gone. And well, 2011 is out.tha.door. PRAISE THE LORD! :)

2011 was an incredibly hard year for me, and so many around me. I don't regret it. I don't hate it. I don't wish it never happened. But, I'm so thankful that it is in the rear view mirror. Don't get me wrong, there were wonderful moments, and I really hate that the hard stuff trumps my memory of this past year. The reality of the situation is that it was hard... but I'm stronger because of it.

House fire and dad's injury. Rodents. Collapsed sewage line. Three difficult deaths. Mourning with and for friends. Sicknesses. Heart struggles. Struggling marriages. Job struggles. Losing a job.

That's kind of my summary of 2011. I don't want to go into each of those things... more than likely you can just re-read any blogs from '11 and you'll be caught up.

So, here's the deal. Every one of those situations have been difficult. They have stretched me in uncomfortable ways. But, I'm thankful for each of them. I'm better off after each of them. You see, the greatest, most valuable lesson and reminder I can walk away from 2011 with is that God is Sovereign. He is in control. I've blogged about Sovereignty before... but this past year has been a constant reminder that I don't hold the key to happiness or controlling situations. I have zero control. I've learned that God has given me a heart to trust Him with. To find my HOPE in Him. My friends, my family... yes, they can help... they can support... they can carry my burdens just as much as I can carry theirs. But, in the end, my Hope, my Help, my Trust, my All comes from the Lord. It is through Him, through His eyes, His Grace, His Mercy, His heart that I am able to face any trial. I found myself over and over again this past year thanking Him for loving me... for choosing me to be His daughter. I've thanked Him over and over for not letting me go. For always being with me... even when I feel completely alone. I've thanked him over and over for His bigger and better plan for me... thanked Him that He knows what is best for me... and He won't do anything to harm me or hurt me. I've been so thankful that He is my Rock on which I can firmly stand... and know that I am safe. This year has been a lot of unknowns... unknowns that certainly flow over to 2012.

Nothing changed when the clock struck midnight on January 1st. My struggles were still there. But, as with every new year, I am hopeful for a new chapter. A new year to learn more incredible lessons from my God. But, my prayer is that He goes a little easier on me this year... and on my friends and family. :) I can't help that! I pray that the lesson I learned of His Sovereignty in 2011 is one that I will look back on with JOY, rather than contempt or sorrow. I know that each and every situation was for my good, for my betterment, for my future. Nothing was done in vain. Absolutely nothing. Hallelujah!

For the past few years, I have tried to pick a verse that becomes my "verse for the year". In 2011, I chose Galatians 6:7-9 ::

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one that sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

I read that, and can't help but be grateful for Him sewing the lessons of finding trust, hope, salvation, security, comfort and myself in Him. He is good!

This year, I'm going to have 2 verses. I chose these after I heard the sermon at my church on January 1st. The sermon was about God's Resolutions for each and every year... not just 2012.

God will be EXALTED, no matter what - Psalm 16:11 - You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

He has my BEST interest at heart - Romans 8:28 - And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

I pray that each of you have an incredible 2012. That it is a year of wonderful, new beginnings. A year that we all treasure His abundant and great blessings. A year of growth and change. A year that He captures hearts. A year that lives are transformed to bring Him glory. And a year that kicks 2011 in the face! :)

Happy 2012 people!!! May this year bless each of you in God's Holy and Perfect Name!

so funny thing...

2011-12-08T16:53:00.001-06:00

i'm unemployed. yep... it happened last friday. but don't worry. i'm really okay. i see this as the Lord opening up a new opportunity for me. the big fat question is: "what is said opportunity??!!"

it's weird. i've had this crazy sense of peace about the whole thing. did i cry? yes. am i scared? yes. am i worried? yes. am i afraid about having a mortgage and bills and loans? yes. but... but i am not worried about my future. i know, and i firmly believe, that the Lord has had this planned since the beginning of time. i believe that He is Sovereign. i believe that He is in control. i believe that He has a future and a plan for me. and oh my word, i'm SO SO SO thankful for this sweet Truth.

i've been blessed with so much. and i thank the Lord that He has chosen me to walk through this time of big questions and uncertainty. He wants to teach me things. He wants to reveal Himself to me. He wants to grow me. He wants my heart to be more centered on Him. And THAT, my blog reader friends, is what I'm so abundantly thankful for. I will come out better because of this.

at first, i was really worried about 2 things: 1) that i would have to battle myself. i can tear myself down faster than anyone can. i was really afraid that i would allow the enemy to attack me and kick me while i was down. 2) that i would have to swallow a big, fat pride pill. no one ever wants to say, "oh yeah, i was fired."

in less than 7 days, the Lord has seriously protected me from these 2 worries. 1) i know myself. i'm reminded of who i am in Christ. i know that this is part of God's plan for me. i know that i'm not at fault. and i also know that i was not happy in my job. i loved my job because of the people. but i did not love my job on monday thru friday, from 8am to 5pm. i wasn't happy. this is God saying, "Sarah, I want more for you. and I will provide a way for you." and this is me saying, "God. You're right. and You're awesome." 2) for some reason, it hasn't been hard telling people i was fired. it's amazing how many people i know that have been in this same situation. it's incredible for people to say to me, "i know your character and work ethic, and it doesn't change anything." the people that know me the best, know who i am.

of course, the Lord is teaching me some hard lessons. but, He's also shown me mercy in this. so... let's talk about some of the cool situations that have gone down since December 2nd...

1. my mom and dad. seriously, i don't know what i could do without them. they love me and support me... no matter what. they have my back. and i'm blessed.

2. on saturday i was supposed to be at my office Christmas party. obviously, that didn't quite work out. but... i did get to go to one of my best friend's first wedding shower. and... on top of that, my other 2 best friends were in town for the shower as well. BAMS {beth.amber.melissa.sarah} doesn't get the opportunity to see each other often... but we did on saturday. and THAT is a God thing. He is always perfect with His timing. their hugs meant the world to me.

3. friends. i have amazing friends in Austin. these people truly live life with me and support me. they pray for me, check on me, buy me lunch, and just spend time with me. i may not have a job, but i've been pretty busy this week :)

4. i got a roommate at the end of October. i lost my job at the first of December. i know this is not coincidence. God knew i needed someone here to support me and to help me financially. i thank Him for Ginger often.

5. Christmas. my family and one particular friend *cough cough beth* have been hounding me on not giving presents this year for Christmas. or if i do give presents, they need to be magazine subscriptions. i had done the majority of my shopping the day before i was fired. so for the most part, everyone was already taken care of before all this stuff came down. but, a few weeks ago, i started asking the Lord to really open my eyes to Christmas. for letting the real Truth of this season to sink into my heart. and, i can honestly say that the last week has helped that come to pass. wrapping each of these gifts, i'm wrapping them with love, i'm giving out of love. not because i should or should not... not because it's what i'm supposed to do during Christmas, it's because i want to give. to show others my love for them. i want to show them my appreciation. and give because i've been given the ultimate Gift.

6. my "special" Christmas tree. it is janky, it is defective, it is leaning, it is not symmetrical, it is not my most beautiful tree. but. with lights, with ribbon, with ornaments i've gathered throughout the years, it is beautiful. and it's perfect. i still look at it the way i've looked at every other tree i've had. i water it the way i always do. i switch around the ornaments like i always do. i put presents under it. i sit in the dark and admire it. i have to adjust the tree stand about 3 times a day to keep it from falling over. i feel like i have a lot in common with my tree. i've been made into something beautiful. something that God continues to prune and love on. something that is cared for.

7. i like not having a job. this may change. but, honestly, that's kind of my greatest fear right now. i like having time to do the things that i enjoy. ok scratch that, i love it. it's my hope and prayer that whatever my next job is, that it allows me time to volunteer, or go get coffee at 3pm, or eat lunch with a friend and not have to rush, or work from home in my sweats.

8. layla. i think she's died and gone to Heaven. this dog wants to snuggle with me... she's NEVER been a snuggler. she wants to be around me constantly. i take it as she loves me. maybe she's just freaking out.

9. 508. even though i haven't done much with 508 this month, i'm going to have a lot more time to work on my projects. i think i'm FINALLY going to be able to mark a few homes off the list. and that will feel really good.

10. wrapping presents. i'm finally getting to wrap presents the way i've always wanted to... creatively. i have the time. and it's awesome :)

ok.. that's the top 10 good good good things going on right now. maybe this is entry number 1 of an unemployment blog series...

watch for the Light

2011-11-28T16:06:00.000-06:00

I've found in the past few years that Christmas has gotten harder. I think it makes me feel lonelier than usual. God has placed in me a desire to have a husband and kids. He has blessed me with so much to date... and I know that He will continue to do so in the years to come. I trust that. I walk in the faith that He will give me these desires. I try my best to be patient with His plan and His timing.

But, I've noticed that the Christmas season brings about a loneliness that I don't like. To be blunt, I want to kick it in the butt. I know that I, Sarah Decker, have zero control over my future... but I do know that the BEST thing I can do to fight the loneliness is to pray. Pray for the Spirit to fill me up with the REAL reason for Christmas. For the Spirit to prepare my heart for a real and TRUE celebration of life. I will pray for my heart and my mind to be focused on more than decorating or buying presents.

I'm also going to pray and try to center my heart around the coming of Jesus. Advent... a time of waiting... the great anticipation. So, I bought this book last year, and I never read through it... but am going to make a point to do so this year!

Prayer and advent. Hopefully those two things will stomp out any unwanted loneliness this season!

Merry Christmas!! LOVE that I can say that now :)

beinganaggieispainful

2011-11-25T11:42:00.001-06:00

Disclaimer - I'm going off of 5 hours of sleep. And I've already said "touche" twice in 2 hours. That's a record.

I'm an Aggie. I'm a very proud Aggie. I love my school. I love our traditions. I love Aggie sports. I'm an Aggie. For better and for worse.

But. In light of a less-than-thrilling football season and seeing tweets and facebook statuses from non-Aggies, I need to air a few of my thoughts. Feel free to not read from here on out if you are just as feisty as I am this morning.

1. Sherman is a disappointment. Sherman is our coach. The coach that apparently doesn't know how to make adjustments during half time. You know, adjustments that could be made to win a game in the 2nd half? I'm sure he's a really nice guy. And I'm not bashing his character or morals or anything like that. No judgement on him as a person. Just his job. Just like someone could tell me I don't do a good job. Sherman... you don't do a good job. Our record is 6-6. 5 of the 6 loses were lost in the 4th quarter. That means we were up in the 4th and then lost. 11-1 would've been nice. That's all.

2. Aggie quarterback, Ryan Tannehill, is a good kid. A smart kid. It's just sad that he has fallen into the Senior Aggie Quarterback curse. We have one of those. Great Junior years, awful Senior years. I wish he could've thrown the ball in the right directions a few more times last night. The best player for UT last night was, in fact, Tanny.

3. Fact: I don't like UT at all. I tolerate UT. If they play someone I really really don't like, ie Texas Tech, I will pull more for the Horns... but still hope that there's a way for them to both lose. If they play someone I really don't have an opinion on, I just take the stance of "let the best team win". I may not like them winning... but whatever. The only thing I don't like is for UT to have a better record than A&M. And... well... I don't like UT winning at.all. during basketball season. I would be thrilled if they never won a basketball game. Just being honest.

4. Longhorn "bandwagon" fans. I'm not even going to lump people that didn't attend UT in this category. I grew up with an uncle, a cousin, and multiple good friends that are HUGE UT fans. Huge ones. And none of them went to the school. I live in Austin. That's where UT is. There are LOTS of UT fans here that have never gone to school there. That's okay. If you are lifelong fans... I respect that. There are lifelong Aggie fans that have never gone to A&M. That's awesome. I'm a lifelong Notre Dame fan. But, I've never even stepped on their campus. I digress. When I mean "bandwagon" fans, I mean the ones that ACT like lifelong fans, but have only cared about UT football since the days of Vince Young, ie circa 2005, ie the year they one the National Championship. These are bandwagon, ie Tshirt, fans. These are the fans that bother me the most. These are the fans that I lose respect for. These are the fans that make losing to UT really difficult to swallow. These are the fans that make me want to kick someone in the shins. And yes, if you must know, I feel embarrassed that A&M have these fans too... but let's face it, you don't see many bandwagon Aggie fans as of late.

5. Aggie War Hymn. Yes. We sing about UT and Bevo. So what. I bet most Longhorn bandwagoners don't know Texas Fight was originally written to combat the Aggie War Hymn. That's right... it was written in RESPONSE to the Aggie War Hymn. You mean Aggies got under the skin of the Horns? Hmm. Interesting. "Texas Fight, Texas Fight and it's goodbye to A&M" Google it. And no. I don't think we should change our War Hymn when we go to the SEC.

6. If you've followed my blog for any length of time, you know that I lost a dear friend in the Aggie Bonfire collapse in 1999. I'm not trying to be the Aggie that brings up Bonfire... believe me, it's hard to talk about sometimes. But, I bring it up now, because it wasn't until the Bonfire collapse that I learned to respect UT. They stepped up in a way that words can't describe in the days after the collapse. ALL of UT. Administrators, students and fans. I'm still moved by their actions, prayers and thoughtfulness during A&M's darkest hour. I graduated in 2003 from A&M. I really truly believe that, for the most part, the students that came to A&M post-Bonfire don't have the same respect for UT the way that pre-Bonfire Aggies do. Yes, us pre-ers have that love-hate relationship with UT, the post-ers just seem to hate, not all... but most. It bothers me. Alot. I hate that we have students that don't understand that this is a "respectful" rivalry... or at least it used to be. I'm not wanting us to stand around a campfire and sign Kumbaya... but do want us to have some respect. There's a documentary about the Bonfire collapse called "Burning Desire", it also includes the A&M-UT game that followed the week after the collapse. I just ordered it. Not to sit on the couch with popcorn in hand and relive the great win... but to use it as a teaching tool for my kids. I want my kids to know what happened and why their momma has respect for a school that isn't my own. I want them to know that if they go to A&M, or even UT (gulp), that I expect them to treat these 2 schools, and whatever rivalry exists in 2033, with the utmost respect.

7. I'm ready to go to the SEC. I know we may not be true contenders for a few years, but I do believe that Arkansas went into the SEC in the same boat as the Aggies will. And, I think that ol' Arkansas is #3 in the nation. And I think that that gives me some hope.

8. Yelling at an Aggie Football game is a FANTASTIC ab workout. I'm real sore. And confession, I like having a raspy voice.

9. The next time the Aggies and the Horns meet will be a great game. We'll have a few seasons of playing in a pre-NFL conference and Texas may be independent by then. It'll be awesome. And I will try my best to be there. And I will have sore abs, no voice and tired, red eyes the next day.

10. I probably won't be watching the Aggies in a bowl game, if we get invited to one. We tend to be rather disappointing in bowls. I also probably won't be partaking in the annual college football pick contest that I usually do. Why? Cause I can't pick against the Aggies... so it's best not to pick at all. It's now Aggie Basketball season in my heart and in my house. And I'm okay about that...

Now, I'm going to need a pedicure, massage, big fat nap and a movie.

my reaction to the penn state scandal

2011-11-10T11:33:00.000-06:00

i guess seeing as how i'm a sports fan, and a crazy college sports fan at that, a friend asked me yesterday what my thoughts were on the penn state scandal. i had to be honest in saying that i didn't know much about it... he ended up sending me an article on the timeline of events that took place.

yes. it's easy to judge. it's easy to be angry. it's easy to blame. it's easy to call someone sick and perverted.

but, no matter how awful and vial this whole situation is, my reaction is that of a broken heart. like seriously, i cried this morning.

it breaks my heart that children were taken advantage of. that these boys, no matter what age, had their childhood robbed from them. that they trusted, maybe even their parents or guardians trusted, an organization who's main purpose was to give them positive interactions. that the emotional toll is probably far more damaging than we could ever imagine. it breaks my heart that some of the parents knew what happened, and despite approaching individuals, nothing was done about it. that things probably could've stopped dead-in-their-tracks if just one person would've stepped up. it breaks my heart that there is way more to this story than you or i know... and that it's probably a whole lot worse.

it breaks my heart that people knew that this was possibly going on, and didn't blow a whistle. that the people that did witness it and reported it stopped there. that harming children wasn't the first thing that broke their hearts. it breaks my heart that the people that did know about it valued the image of a university, or a football program, or a sports legend or whatever it was over the exploitation of children.

it breaks my heart that there are men and women that don't have courage to step up, to do what is right. that the saying "out of sight, out of mind" trumped doing what is right.

i'm not judging. i'm really not. my heart is broken. i've never witnessed anything like this. i've never known anyone to be sexually abused. i've never known a man or woman to take advantage of a child. i pray i never do. however, i'm not judging because i know that i'm just as broken as these men are. i'm not perfect. there are so many situations that have occurred in my 30 years that i have chosen to ignore, because it was the easy way out. none as big as this... but i'm just as guilty. so i can't judge.

but, what i can do is pray. and that is what i'm doing. i pray for men and women all over this world to stop taking advantage of and robbing the innocence from children. i pray that this situation only encourages more men and women to step up and do what is right. i pray for more whistle-blowers to have the courage to sound the alarm in their communities. i pray for absolutely no one: no organization, no city, no community, no church, no school, no anything to think they are more important than or above the law. laws that have been put in place to protect. i pray for the families of these boys, and for the countless other families of children that have gone through this awful situation. i pray that they overcome the, seemingly, impossible mountain of anger, hurt and brokeness. i pray that these boys and girls that have had to deal with such horrible circumstances will grow into men and women that advocate for other victims and make a positive impact on our society. i pray that there is a stop to victimizing children all together. i pray that people feel the Holy Spirit convicting them to do what is right and either walk away from doing harm, or sound an alarm when harm has been done.

and, i've been praying for a lot of kids. i'm pretty sure i've prayed for every kid i know, by name. and every child i have yet to meet... like my own. i pray for the protecting hand of God to keep them safe from all harm. that they may never know what it's like to be exploited. to be robbed of their childhoods. i pray for the children i hope to adopt one day. i pray that they come to me with their innocence in tact. i pray that every child i will ever know feels secure with the adults that their parents let them be around. i pray for every organization, school, church, volunteer program that these children will participate in... that upstanding adults, ones that want to protect these kids, will be leaders and above reproach. i pray that we teach our kids to stand up to do what is right, even if it means ridicule or adversity. i pray that Jesus takes a hold of our children's hearts and leads them to grow to be men and women that approach this world the way He did.

oh, i pray for change. huge, huge change in this world. i pray that despite these awful, horrible, disgusting circumstances that Good will come out of it. i pray that people's lives are changed for the better. i refuse to think that God isn't moving. i know He is. i trust that He is.

FIVEOEIGHT

2011-11-07T09:26:00.001-06:00

fiveoeightdesign.com

This, my dear friends, is what has been consuming my life as of late! Not exactly the website itself, but the business! God is good... and I'm getting to work with some great families! I'm really excited and hope that you enjoy the additional blog to follow :)

Happy Monday!!

practice... i don't like practice...

2011-09-29T15:41:00.000-05:00

I've never been good at practicing. I played the flute (go ahead and laugh all you want) for 7 years and barely picked it up outside of band practice. I played the piano for 8 years and still have trouble playing with both hands. I played tennis... and was awful. I've tried to run, but don't want to practice enough to get through the tough period.

Here's my problem... I want to be good. Right off the bat. I don't want to have to practice... I don't want to have to work at it. I just want to be good. If I'm good, I have the motivation to get better. The sad thing is that there is very little I can do "good" right from the get-go.

My whole life, I've been really good at a few things... 2 of which I'll mention here. I was good at dancing. I enjoyed it, it came naturally, and I always wanted to push myself to be better. And, I was really good at eating. I love eating. I love food. My boss says I'm the resident taste-tester in my office. It's kind of ridiculous how much I love food. When I was younger, I would eat a whole large pizza and then go to Drill Team practice, and never gain an inch. It.was.awesome. Fast forward to being 30...

Now, for a little humiliation on my part. Confession: I've gained a good 20 pounds in the past 2 years. That's 10 pounds a year. It's ridiculous. And, I've been battling a lot with self-esteem/confidence. This is not my ploy to try to get compliments, so please don't! Luckily, I have lots of clothes that can hide the bulges, etc. At any rate, I've done a lot of praying over this weight gain. I felt like the best way for me to approach the Throne was to just be completely honest with God... and myself. Here's what I came up with...

- I depend on food. I like it. It makes me feel good. When I'm bored, I eat.

- I'm extremely lazy.

- I want to be back to my old weight/size so bad.

- I have motivation, but I don't have drive.

- I try to do too much on my own.

One of the biggest hurdles I had to leap through was praying about why I wanted to lose weight. It was my biggest fear that the whole reason would be because I was comparing myself to other women. I won't lie... I sometimes find myself falling into that trap. But, at the heart of the matter, I really feel like I want to lose weight because I want to be healthy... regardless of what the scale says. I know that if I am healthy, then I will be much more confident.

I've noticed that when my confidence is low, I turn to other things to help build it back up. To say it another way, I become needy. And mostly, I end up eating more... which doesn't make anything better.

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. - 3 John 1:2

I firmly believe that. When I feel good, it's like my heart grows a little. I laugh more, I appreciate more, I'm more thankful, I see more beauty, I don't instantly reject the Goodness of God... my heart just feels bigger.

I.want.that.again.

I'm praying to have the drive to be healthy. But not only physically healthy, but soul healthy. I'm praying to accept practice. That I'm not going to get my results after one good meal and work out. I'm praying for a different kind of patience. I want to include Jesus in every bit of this journey. Because, I know that if I don't, I will fail. I've failed before... and I don't want to fail anymore.

Besides the all-important and necessary-to-succeed prayer, I've also:

consulted a nutritionist. I need someone to say "Um, Decker... you eat WAY too much pasta." or "Excuse me, you know there are such things as vegetables!" I need accountability with my diet. Not just to lose weight for right now, but to maintain a healthy diet for the rest of my time on this earth. I'm really looking forward to hear what she has to say...

working out. Ok, I took a week off last week... but I'm back on the horse. Even though I currently feel like poo. So you know how Danny in Grease was able to try out all of those different sports until he landed on the fact that he liked track? Yeah, it would be AWESOME to have one of those type situations in the real world. You see, I've always wanted to find something that I enjoy doing... because I do NOT enjoy going to a gym. I think I've found my niche though... it's called Barre. It's a toning, strengthening, major calorie burning method of work out. And, it's a mix between Ballet and Pilates technique. I finished my 5th class today... and it really is an incredible work out. Besides the fact that my nose is running like crazy, I do feel really good. I like this workout so much, I'm thinking of investing in 6 months or a year of classes. that.is.huge.people.

realized nothing is going to happen today. This is going to take time. And even giving myself a goal-date isn't going to really happen. I don't want to set myself up for a fall... but rather, I want to stay encouraged.

spending time in the Word. Yes, to find strength. But also to really search my heart. I know that there are some layers of idolatry that are feeding away. And those layers will keep on stacking, and growing, and suffocating unless I seek Jesus to do a work in me. I can.not. do this alone... and I, frankly, don't want to.

So. There you have it. It's time for change. It's time for a healthy soul and a healthy heart. It's time to practice. It's time for success over failure. Let's do this.

man o' man

2011-09-08T16:10:00.000-05:00

seriously. where.did.august.go? it FLEW by before I could even blink. August was a BIG month for this girl... one thing in particular that came into fruition, that is in the works, yet established at the same time. something that I'm totally teasing you to keep reading my blog to find out more about... in a few weeks. :) tease!

so, while you're {maybe} guessing what in the world I could "announce", I'll leave you with what my August was filled with...

{work}

LOTS of work. Starting, tying up and completing projects. Exciting stuff to say the least, but nothing that anyone in blog world would really want, or care, to know about... so I'll spare you.

a few FUN work things though... our CEO asked the VP team to join him for a day on the lake. Just a day to chill and hang out with each other... it was fab... and much needed.

a trip to San Angelo for a clay shoot. we took our cooker to cook for the bankers. we had not one, but two, flat tires on the cooker. and when i say cooker, picture a massive smoker for bbq, as well as burners for cooking big pots of beans and potatoes. after a 6 hour trip that should've taken 3 hours... we got to work, cooked, served and got on the road as soon as possible. it was a long day, but LOTS of quotable moments that won't make sense to anyone that doesn't know my co-workers :)

a trip to Kansas City for board meetings. it was so fun to see this city through the eyes of those that live there. we visited Grand Central Station there in KC... it is BEAUTIFUL.

{life}

a double quincenera. yes. you read correctly. Becca turned 30. and it was her DREAM to have a double quincenera... so we did. it.was.phenomenal. i hosted it at my house... which led me to do LOTS of small updates to the house. I definitely marked a few of my to-do things off the list... but more on that later. at any rate, we had a blast. it was complete with giving Bex an iPad for her birthday... a flash mob... a photo booth... toasts... and just all around fellowship with friends!

Lindsay - me - Olivia
partaking in the photo booth awesomeness

Bex with the official Birthday mascot - a one-legged Ken

n.y.c. oh yes. mom, Deb, Kitty and I all took a mother-daughter/girls trip to NYC! we had a BLAST... the MET, lunch at the Boathouse, 5 Napkin Burger, incredible dinners, Top of the Rock, Sister Act, Central Park, Harlem, Columbia, St. John of the Divine, Grant's Tomb, Hell's Kitchen, Ellis Island, Battery Park... we packed in our time while there!

view of Central Park

Mom was SO HYPED to see the Hello Deli... aka a Letterman Landmark

Decker ladies with Lady Liberty herself

view of Manhattan from Ellis Island

freedom is goodness.

the sistas!
me - mom - Deb - Kitty

inside Ellis Island. it is beautiful

Freedom Tower. at the World Trade Center site

flag at Ellis Island

exterior of Ellis Island... I was getting all kinds of inspired

the.best.burger.ever. 5 Napkin Burger. If you're in NYC... go. don't ask questions.

Columbia University

St. John of the Divine Cathedral in Harlem

Mom's Birthday cake :)

making our Dad's proud...

pinterest projects!! eek!

2011-08-02T21:20:00.017-05:00

The Pinterest Challenge was to pick a project and have it completed in a week. I did a LOT of projects that have been inspired by my "make it a home" pinterest pins: http://pinterest.com/aggieskd/make-it-a-home/

As a quick reminder, here was the official challenge...

Have you ever wanted to wallpaper your cat (don't, i tried, unsuccesfully) or gold leaf your blankey (weird, but could be amazing...although the fact you have a 'blankey' is questionable)?
Regardless, now is your chance, my friends, to finish that crazy home project that you keep putting off because you are too 'busy' or 'constantly watching the reality tv' or 'not-goal oriented'. I think i'm a combination of the first two, so, I was talking to my new friends, Sherry and John from YoungHouseLove.com, Joey and Lana from JoeyandLana.com, and Katie and Jeremy from BowerPowerBlog.com and someone had the genius idea of throwing down an official Pinterest challenge; a design challenge to force ourselves to finish a project that we promise ourselves we will, inspired by a pinterest picture.

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And now... on to the show!! Here's everything Pauls {my fabulous mom} and I tackled this weekend!!

my bedroom then...

right after I moved into the house.
please notice the dust ruffle...

the great print series i found on etsy

opposite side... sorry i didn't move the random box...

my bedroom NOW...

finally brought the headboard mom, dad and I made last summer from Linda's house.
also, we changed the curtains out to some really pretty yellow ones from IKEA.
and, the GREAT new bedside table that I can put LOTS on!

now introducing... the NEW BED! I got a NEW BED! found a GREAT deal on this bed from West Elm.
gooooodbye dust ruffle! hello less cloth material! oh... and we took down the curtains from the other window.

this picture doesn't do this wall justice. these prints are something special. they are legit copies of pages taken from THE Woodstock Music Festival program!!! my dad's cousin sent me the program because he knows how much I love music! These are VERY rare... because most of them got ruined due to rain, mud, etc. at any rate, I chose 12 of my favorite pages... and this whole wall cost me $36. awesome!!

here's a better pic of the colors that I'm rockin' in my bedroom now!

living room then...

living room right after i moved in... i bought a pretty braided rug, however it shed.like.crazy.
and... i also thought that i shouldn't waste my time by hemming the curtains...

living room NOW...

and a neeeewwwwww rug! as well as heeemmmmmmmmed curtains!

close up of the rug... :)

i brought over my covered "extra" seating... just so everyone can see how awesome the print is against the rug!
you're welcome...

laundry/pantry then...

pretty sure this is a horrible picture, but it's the only one i have of the space.

laundry/pantry NOW...

BASKETS = organization = happy sarah
there's still more to come in this room... so that's why you aren't getting the full picture

guest bedroom then...

guest bedroom NOW...

goodbye busy duvet... and hello NEW set-up!

hung another poster :)

the "feng shui" is totally off, but the arrangement makes more sense!
and i have good plans for that white frame leaning up on the wall... don't worry :)

bathroom then...

well, i don't have a pic of that. basically i had 2 hanging shelves above the toilet... one decided it didn't want to cooperate. so enter new idea...

bathroom NOW...

framed my awesome embroidered hand towel!!!

and another view...

So... as you can see, we were QUITE busy this weekend! And, I'll be the first to admit that I need some photog skills for indoors... those pics make me cringe.

Gonna keep tabs on my running list... so here's the update :)

Indoors ::

~~replace the rug in the living room~~
~~hem curtains in living room~~
find a rug for the dinning/breakfast area
paint or wallpaper hallway
hang prints in hallway
~~hang decor in bathroom~~
~~take down "listing deport" shelf in bathroom~~
~~baskets, baskets, baskets for pantry/laundry room~~
additional shelving unit in laundry room for "crafting" storage
paint another coat of chalkboard paint on laundry door {3 coats isn't enough}
paint pantry/laundry walls a super fun "i love doing laundry and storing food" color
possibly paint pantry/laundry floor
window covering for pantry/laundry window
window covering for dinning/breakfast door
new front door
paint inside of front door
paint hall closet doors
new light fixture for hallway
possible new light fixture for breakfast/dinning area
new, interesting dinning table
use existing breakfast/dinning light fixture as standing lamp shade in one of extra bedrooms
buy a standing lamp for the above bullet point
hardwoods in master
possible tile flooring or paint concrete in extra bedrooms
~~new bed for master~~
~~king size cases for master~~ being shipped as I type!!!
new pillowcases for master
~~recover DIY'd headboard for master {but first GET said headboard from Linda's}~~ didn't recover... but it looks FAB!
~~artwork for master~~
~~bedside table for master~~
barn door {or something comparable}for master closet door
~~rearrange guest bedroom~~
~~new duvet for guest bedroom~~
paint dresser in guest bedroom
ceiling fan for guest bedroom
curtains for guest bedroom
hang curtains in roommate room
set up bed in roommate room
paint roommate room?
hang artwork in roommate room
get more Fiestaware coffee mugs
~~organize kitchen drawers~~ i figured i would save you from the completely interesting pics of my kitchen drawer organization :)

Outdoors :: haven't even gone there yet... it's TOO hot!

wood fence in backyard
cut down "trash trees" in backyard
deck in backyard
add on a small storage room off of garage
small fence in front yard
paint house and trim
paint front door fun color
create new walk path in front yard
build out flower beds in front yard
build out flower beds in backyard
flower/herb/veggie boxes in backyard
add outdoor plugs in front and back
sprinkler system
lap pool {a girl can have lofty dreams, right??}
plant an oak tree in the back

pinterest challenge update

2011-08-01T15:19:00.002-05:00

I can honestly say I don't think I've ever been so serious about accepting a challenge! Wowza... the past 5 days have been CA-RAY-ZEE (re: crazy) with all of the little projects Pauls and I have been working on. The funny thing is that I never mentioned it to her... as I don't think she blog-stalks me. I'm sure Dad will inform her when she gets home today... as he always reads the blog! {hi daddo!}

At any rate, I'm taking pictures tonight and will post them tomorrow for you to see. I think I have before pics from Crimahtime (re: Christmas time)... but they will give you a good idea of where I started and where I am now.

In a few words: I LOVE what we did. Love. it. Mom is a rockstar, and I definitely inherited my love for decorating and thinking outside of the box from her. When it comes to decorating we both have our own styles, are honest in what we think, and we often convince the other to just "try it". But then there are the times, i.e. this weekend at 4 Hands Home, IKEA, Pottery Barn and West Elm, that we just look at each other and say YES.

As far as costs for the past 5 days... yes, I did spend $$. Mom did too {THANK YOU!!!}. But, it wasn't without much discussion. She and I pretty much approach buying furniture or any type of decor with the following questions:

will this piece work in multiple places, or is a piece that will only work in one room?

if the answer is "it will only work in one room", in most cases, walk away from purchasing. I really think the only exception is a bed. obviously that can't go in the dining room one day... or could it?? jkjk

is the piece or decor timeless?

if it's something that may go out of style in a few years, turn around and walk out the door. the last thing you want to do is invest in a piece that will be completely outdated in 3 years. or even 10 years in that matter.

if I get tired of this piece or don't have room for it anymore, will someone be able to use it?

you see... since graduating from college, I've learned the importance of sharing. my mom and my aunt Tresa (who has a great style of her own!) have always swapped furniture, rugs, decor, etc. literally, the futon my mom let me borrow after she didn't need it, is now in my aunt's garage apartment. when I needed a rug, I took the one my mom had gotten from my aunt years ago. all of us kids have, at one point or another, used the dishes that mom and tresa both had (matching sets). so as you can see, I want to make sure of 2 different things before I buy something: a) will someone else be willing to re-use this if need be and b) does mom or tresa already have one? :)

I'm really excited to share the changes we made this weekend. I think they definitely are more "me" and make my home even more a home... which is my ultimate goal!!

So get ready, the next post should be a pretty heavy picture post! But for now, I'll leave you with the list I want to do overall to my house... {this is more for me than anything}

Indoors ::

replace the rug in the living room
hem curtains in living room
find a rug for the dinning/breakfast area
paint or wallpaper hallway
hang prints in hallway
hang decor in bathroom
take down "listing deport" shelf in bathroom
baskets, baskets, baskets for pantry/laundry room
additional shelving unit in laundry room for "crafting" storage
paint another coat of chalkboard paint on laundry door {3 coats isn't enough}
paint pantry/laundry walls a super fun "i love doing laundry and storing food" color
possibly paint pantry/laundry floor
window covering for pantry/laundry window
window covering for dinning/breakfast door
new front door
paint inside of front door
paint hall closet doors
new light fixture for hallway
possible new light fixture for breakfast/dinning area
new, interesting dinning table
use existing breakfast/dinning light fixture as standing lamp shade in one of extra bedrooms
buy a standing lamp for the above bullet point
hardwoods in master
possible tile flooring or paint concrete in extra bedrooms
new bed for master
king size cases for master
new pillowcases for master
recover DIY'd headboard for master {but first GET said headboard from Linda's}
artwork for master
bedside table for master
barn door {or something comparable}for master closet door
rearrange guest bedroom
new duvet for guest bedroom
paint dresser in guest bedroom
ceiling fan for guest bedroom
curtains for guest bedroom
hang curtains in roommate room
set up bed in roommate room
paint roommate room?
hang artwork in roommate room
get more Fiestaware coffee mugs
organize kitchen drawers

Outdoors ::

wood fence in backyard
cut down "trash trees" in backyard
deck in backyard
add on a small storage room off of garage
small fence in front yard
paint house and trim
paint front door fun color
create new walk path in front yard
build out flower beds in front yard
build out flower beds in backyard
flower/herb/veggie boxes in backyard
add outdoor plugs in front and back
sprinkler system
lap pool {a girl can have lofty dreams, right??}
plant an oak tree in the back

Don't worry... not even a 1/4 of these lists were completed this weekend. And again, I will use the word "lofty". This is all in my dreams with unlimited funds. I guess that's the beauty and curse of owning a home... you're never really done with all of the things you want to do!

So stay tuned...

ohhh giddy goodness!

2011-07-26T15:10:00.000-05:00

I think I'm gonna accept the challenge, y'all! :) I mean... why the heck not! I think it'll be fun... and the other "perk" is that my momma is coming into town for a few days to.mor.row.!! So many things I want to do from Pinterest... now I just gotta narrow it down!

I follow all 4 of these blogs... and totally admire these women for their eyes for design!

** reposted from Emily Henderson's blog - stylebyemilyhenderson.com **

Have you ever wanted to wallpaper your cat (don't, i tried, unsuccesfully) or gold leaf your blankey (weird, but could be amazing...although the fact you have a 'blankey' is questionable)?
Regardless, now is your chance, my friends, to finish that crazy home project that you keep putting off because you are too 'busy' or 'constantly watching the reality tv' or 'not-goal oriented'. I think i'm a combination of the first two, so, I was talking to my new friends, Sherry and John from YoungHouseLove.com, Joey and Lana from JoeyandLana.com, and Katie and Jeremy fromBowerPowerBlog.com and someone had the genius idea of throwing down an official Pinterest challenge; a design challenge to force ourselves to finish a project that we promise ourselves we will, inspired by a pinterest picture.

Ah, look at those lovely ladies (and watch that video, written by Sherry and Katie, who are ridiculously adorable and hilarious...and don't forget to watch the bloopers at the end).

Here's the challenge, if you choose to accept it (which i did): choose a picture on pinterest that inspires you do to something to your home to improve it. It could be as small as decopaugeing a doorknob (seriously don't recommend it) to turning your closet into a guest bedroom (I did and they complained of 'clausterphobia'...pussies) - as long as it has to do home design/decor and it can be done within the week. The four of us are doing it and while there isn't necessarily a winner, the idea is that we are actually forced to finish something. I'm pretty sure i'm the worst when it comes to this, but now that its public, it will be done.

I, Emily Von Henderson, will finish a project by next tuesday, 8/2, at 7am pst. I will share it with you, whether its effing amazing or totally embarrassing. I am at the mercy of this deadline and won't eat or sleep until its done. I will however shoot a makeover show, write a blog and cuddle with bearcat, so if i can do it, so can you. just saying. this is a lot of underlining and bold type, but i'm feeling it.

Now, its your turn. Join in on the challenge, comment, link your blogs in the comments and challenge yourself to actually finish the project by next week. Mine will involve 30 pounds of vintage brass chain that i got at an architectural salvage store that I have been hoarding (playing with, sometimes spooning) for a couple years now, you know, as you do.... I've got some ideas, but i'm not exactly a welder, so we'll see.

I'll give clues on twitter and facebook throughout the week as to what it is and how its going, so follow me on twitter and 'like' 'secrets from a stylist' on facebook (not the emily henderson fanpage, that's kinda inactive....because i can't do 'fanpage'). And retweet this post, we want to see how many people we can get to actually get something done. Besides finishing the RHONY series, that doesn't count. I'll tell you how it ends: they all basically suck.

And in case you think the Pinterest family has paid us, the answer is 'nope', they had nothing to do with it. Just good old fashioned inspiration, now known as 'pinspiration'....which reminds me a bit too much of that thing one does (not me, please...gross) when you work out... but if 'that' happens too, then good on you. But please shower before posting.

Good luck my friends.....i'll be thinking/tweeting/facebooking/myspacing/and friendstering about you all week....

is it weird...

2011-07-19T16:35:00.000-05:00

is it weird that:

one of my favorite songs, one that i can listen to on repeat {which i NEVER do}, is about cocaine?

as a sidenote, ZBB covers this song. original is by Ray LaMontagne and it is equally as fantastic. swoon.

______________________________________________________

at this very moment i want to go outside and dance in the "rain"?

hallelujah!

______________________________________________________

i want to throw a party when this "abscess" on my underarm finally either goes away or bursts? and that i secretly want it to burst so i can see what the crizap has been crippling me with pain the past few days?

i know. TMI. at least i'm not showing you a picture :)

you're welcome.

______________________________________________________

now i want to read all of the Harry Potter books... after i've seen all 8 of the movies? and i only want the hardbacks... "paperbacks, we don't need no stinkin' paperbacks" {that's for the fleetwood family}

______________________________________________________

it's killing me that i can't come up with a 5th weird thing to complete my list of 5? therefore, this is counting as the 5th... whew... that feels better

new favorites.

2011-06-30T16:29:00.000-05:00

oh good gravy. have i found the MECCA of websites. i've found a new obsession. seriously. i could spend HOURS on this website.

pinterest. if you haven't heard of it. or haven't signed up for it. or have ignored my urging you to sign up for it. well. now you know. you should stop what you're doing and go sign up. request an invite or send me an email and i'll send you an invite.

the concept behind pinterest is an online bulletin board (or 13 bulletin boards in my case). anytime you're online and find a great shirt, or a beautiful piece of jewelry, or a DIY idea, or a paint color you'd love for your laundry room (don't hate), you pin it to your coinciding board. it's.so.dang.easy. if you have a problem with online shopping (ahem, me), it helps curb the desire to buy... because it basically bookmarks the website for you. just for kicks, here's a snapshot of my "make it a home" board...

as you can see, i get to write my commentary under each picture i pin. most of them have some sort of "LOOOOOVE" or "oh I want this" on there.

but. BUT... the best part about pinterest is that you get to follow other people, and see what they pin... and REPIN their pins. AND you get to see what other people outside of your small circle are pinning too. and repin THEIR pins. i.love.it. seriously, i can't get enough.

so. along with pinterest, there's also a website called Polyvore - http://www.polyvore.com/. This is what i used for yesterday's "what I'm wearing" post. it was really more of a test than to be talking about what i had on. at any rate, you can put your pictures from pinterest or any ol' website and make a collection or collage. i really plan on using this more for decorating ideas. coming up with mood boards or what have you. so yeah... check that one out too.

last but not least, i feel it's time to share with y'all that I'm making a change this afternoon in t-minus 20 minutes. i'm going from looking like this...

ok... let's be honest... it's more like this...

to hopefully something more along the lines of this:

minus the blonde highlights of course. i'm already pale and washed out enough. WOOHOO for hair appointment day!!

hugs and smooches.

what I'm wearing today... minus the DREAM necklace :)

2011-06-29T14:33:00.002-05:00

what I'm wearing today... minus the DREAM necklace :) by aggieskd featuring a chain necklace

Rayon top
anthropologie.com

Gap Jeans
www.gap.com

Ecote strappy sandals
urbanoutfitters.com

Monica Vinader chain necklace
net-a-porter.com

the spirit of reconciliation.

2011-06-21T16:25:00.001-05:00

reconcile :: to restore to friendship or harmony

In the Spring of 2008, I was able to sit in on an incredible documentary about Rwanda, called as we forgive. For around 100 days in 1994, Rwanda experienced extreme genocide. There is not an official count of those that lost their lives, however it is estimated that between 500,000 to 1,000,000 people were killed. That's over 20% of the population at that time. What was so unreal about this genocide is that families, neighbors, friends were turning against one another. Killing one another.

The documentary was about what was going on years after genocide. Thousands of citizens had been arrested for participating in the Rwandan Genocide. In order to free up space in the prisons, the government brought about a policy that if families forgave those that murdered their loved ones, they could be freed from prison. The documentary followed 3-5 people that either chose to forgive those that had brought them harm and heartache or those that decided they couldn't do it.

It was an incredible and powerful story. Many of these women and men chose to forgive. Obviously, I was moved by it, and I left wondering if I would be willing to do the same. And in my heart of hearts, I really don't know if I would. I would hope that I could... but I just don't know. Hopefully, I will never be faced with that...

But, the TRUTH is that we are called for forgive... to reconcile. Why? Because God sent His Son, Jesus, to reconcile us because of our sin. He paid a price for our sin. He took on God's wrath for us so we could experience true reconciliation... see definition above.

The Ministry of Reconciliation - 2 Corinthians 5:11-21

Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I don't know if there is any family that doesn't have some sort of drama. If there is such a family, they should write a book. And then prove it. Until then, I'm going to believe that every family has drama.

It's not my place to disclose the unfortunate drama that has been in my family for a very long time. But, I can sum it up to one word: hurt. The drama has existed because people hurt and hurt one another.

Seven months after I saw the Rwandan documentary, I started praying for reconciliation for my family. There was definitely a level of unbelief in my prayer, but I couldn't help but think of Rwanda when I was tossing up that "idea" to God. I didn't pray this prayer everyday, every week or even every month for that matter... but I did pray it. And, I knew that God was hearing me... regardless of my sometimes doubtful heart.

In March of this year, I felt the Lord urging me to reach out to my estranged family member. What happened next can ONLY be pointed back to God. After a few very honest, sometimes tear-generating emails, I had reconnected with someone I was once close to as a child. I knew that, and I still know that my reaching out to her could potentially make other family members angry with me. But, my answer will and will always be that I am led to forgive, to reconcile, to love... because that's what Jesus has called me to do.

Yesterday, I got a text message from this family member. I could read her excitement. She had just gone to see another member of our family... and it "went really well!" You see, I was so young when all of this went down that I ended up being more of an innocent bystander. But, she went to visit someone that was in the mix of it all... so this was a HUGE deal. I don't know what all was said, but I know that tears, forgiveness, understanding, even hugs happened. And God has received every OUNCE of the glory from these overjoyed hearts!

There's still more family. It may never get past the few of us. But, I'm okay with whatever God has in store. I have seen with my own eyes that he does bring about true reconciliation in our lives.

If you're still reading, I encourage you to boldly pray for reconciliation in your own life. If not in your life, then you're friend's or family's. God is BIG. He is SOVEREIGN over ALL things. Even the things we put in the back of our minds and hearts... things that we have accepted that it's "just the way it's going to be."

worn out and thankful

2011-06-20T12:38:00.000-05:00

Hi friends. It's been a while. I've been one busy girl. And I'm sorry. Maybe someday soon I'll give you a recap of the travels, the friends, the activities over the last month... but for now, I'm in a deep thought mode. Surprise surprise... I know.

This past week, I spent 4 days at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort in San Antonio. It was the site of our annual Leadership Conference for work. It's a family-friendly event... so our members bring spouses and kids. It's a laid-back event, even though it's long days for the staff. But, it's by far my favorite event that we put on.

On the morning of the last day, I was beat. I was so tired. My eyes watered because I was so tired. If I sat down, there was a 99.9% chance I would fall asleep. So I stood. I stood at the back of the room... looking at all of these families. All of these husbands and wives that I consider my friends. Wives that know me, know my heart, know what's going on in my life. Husbands that look out for me like brothers... and give me a hard time in the next breath. Kids that I've literally watched grow up before my eyes. At any rate, I'm looking over this room full of people I consider my friends... and it hits me. I have never had a job in one place this long. I've been in this position at this association for over 3 years now. (I know... that's not long at all. But obviously, it is for me.) I love it here. I love who I work with everyday and I love the people we represent. It may be an industry, but this industry is made up of great people. I love that I know them. I love that they know me. I love that we pray before every meal, meeting, and event. I love that the members ask me about my church and how I'm serving there. I love that the day I finally meet Mr. Decker (the nickname given to my future husband), those people will rejoice with me. I love that I don't even think about leaving my job. And that when I do have that flash of the married-mom Sarah in my head, I still see all of these people in my world.

I left this conference completely worn out. But ever so thankful for the Sovereignty of God. He put me here. He put these people in my life. He gave me this particular job. He alone knows my future, He alone knows what's best for me. But, for now, I'm counting my blessings :)

my favorite color is black. just kidding.

2011-05-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

I know. Two posts in a row. I must be out of my mind :)

So... I recently got these two things at Lowes...

And this, my laundry/pantry door, was what I had in mind for their use...

And this is what one coat of magnetic paint looks like...

And this... THIS, after 3 coats of magnetic paint and one coat of chalkboard paint, is what a finished product looks like!

As you can tell, I'm pleased. Very pleased.

happy girl.

2011-05-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in a while. The reason? Because I'm really tired of writing about hard stuff. I want to talk about happy moments. And now that a month has passed since my last blog, I've racked up on happiness. :)

Top 10 Happy moments of the last month... in no particular order, of course...

1. My momma meeting me in Vegas (I was there for work) and taking her to see "Beatles Love" for Mother's Day. And then being really happy that she didn't stand up in her chair at all during the performance.

2. Spending a whole day at the Alford's Cabin the day before Easter. Being outside, on the lake and with some of my favorite people is just good for my soul.

3. Mumford and Sons concert. If you are unaware of the goodness that is Mumford, click HERE, and thank me later.

4. A WHOLE day with my old roomie, Linda. Man... hanging out, laughing, shopping and eating with her is so.much.dang.fun. And not to mention the MOUND of quotes that were documented...

5. Waking up at 3am to watch the Royal Wedding and being able to say I did it. Even though people rolled there eyes or laughed at me. But whatever, people, I love me some history... and history-in-the-making.

6. Rubes road-tripping to Henderson with me for Easter. A road trip with Melissa Rubey is just plain goodness.

7. Celebrating the Resurrection of my Savior and King CONQUERING Death FOR GOOD with my family... all the while celebrating my sweet cousin, Blair's, 23rd Birthday! Yep... same day! And, I'm thinking the confetti eggs were more of a hit for Blair's bday rather than Easter...

8. Finally getting to meet "LuLu", aka Casey's mom, and hanging with the ladies poolside for the day.

9. Speaking of pools... spending a BEAUTIFUL, Austin Saturday with 3 of my great friends: Becca, Emily and Ginger at Deep Eddy Pool.

10. My sweet Layla girl turned 5 on Cinco de Mayo. Mom and I were in Vegas, so she was hanging with her Pops in Henderson, aka "the country". Therefore, it was OBVIOUS that he would throw her a birthday party... and this is the pic that was texted to me.

And one to grow on...

The first annual South Congress pre-Aggie Muster with J-Hey and Lindies... straight up perfection.

Y'all. I turn THIRTY next week. What.is.that.about?

it is written.

2011-04-05T15:21:00.001-05:00

This month marks my 5th month as a homeowner. I would love to be able to write that it has been nothing but blissful, but that would be a bold-faced lie. It's been hard. It IS hard. I have been wrecked more since being in this house.

Fire. check. Serious injury. check. Car damage. check. Rodents. check. Plumbing issue. check.

I wasn't prepared for this. At all. But, I didn't have to be prepared... because God has known about these tiny little things since the beginning of time. This is His plan. No matter what happens or how I feel, nothing can separate me from His love and from His presence. He isn't letting go of me. And woah. I am thankful for that!!

So, today has been really hard. It's only 3pm and it's been hard. I feel defeated. I feel deflated. But, in the midst of all of that... I had lunch with my lunch bunch friends. (Julz, Kanice, Anna and Kim... seriously, these ladies end up being a shoulder to cry on once a month!) They brought joy to this circumstance. I was reminded that I have community not only in my personal life, but also in my professional life. What a blessing! And then, on my way back to work, I couldn't help but pray to God... praising Him in this "storm". That this home is His home. That He has me here for a reason. That He will use this in some way I could never imagine. And, despite fears, tears and frustrations... He is in control. Not me. Thank goodness.

And then... He helped me remember the moment where 3 of my favorite people in Austin (Becca, Jordan and Sarah) joined me at my house, before I moved in, and covered my floors with the Word of God. Scripture is imbedded in this house. I stand on Scripture. Literally. Can't nobody hold me down... oh no! I got to keep on moving!! :)

So here's a few pics from that precious day... that day that puts days like today in perspective...

indeed. that is a true statement.

2011-03-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

"Decker, you have a lot of best friends."

True Statement. Is that a bad thing? Blame it on the only child thing if you want... I don't care. I'm blessed with wonderful and amazing friends. I don't see that as a bad thing... My friendships with these girls range from a handful of months to 22 years. I love my girls. And, by the grace of God, they love me.

I learned about the value of friendship from my parents. They are great friends. They are the people that love unconditionally. They struggle with their friends. They pray for their friends. They just enjoy their friends. Being an only child, I can never look back at a time when I was really "lonely". My parents always had me around some incredible people. Many of which have become my sounding boards in adulthood.

So, to me, friendships... deep friendships are just par for the course. They are natural. They are part of me. Because of that, my friends kind of have to walk through life with me. I turn to them. A lot. I seek them out for prayer. To pray for my other friends and my family. To call me out. To keep me in line. To tell me "what's up" even though I may not want to hear it. I don't live this life for anything less than seeking God's glory in all things. I'm not seeking their approval. But, I can honestly say that it brings me to tears, tears of joy, when they say I'm doing something well. Especially, when that something is really hard and a struggle. I sometimes think it's a way of God whispering to me that I'm doing well.

At any rate, I think I just need to officially write a huge THANK YOU to my friends who have been loving me well, praying over me, listening to me, walking through life with me and checking up on me. You know who you are... God has truly blessed me with each of you. Every.single.one.of.you brings something to the table... and God uses you in huge ways in my life. I can't tell you how abundantly blessed I am.

And to add a little light-hearted laughter... taking you back to the old school... enjoy :)

hi. i'm a grown up now.

2011-03-09T13:29:00.000-06:00

There are definitely pros and cons to growing up. Pro - I can go to any concert I want whenever I want. Con - I have to go to work the next morning. Pro - I get to drive anywhere with windows down and music blaring. Con - I have to pay for the gas. You get my drift.

I think the first time I really felt like an adult was when I closed on my house in October. And, I knew that those moments would be more frequent versus less in the days, months and years to come. I was ready... I was confident. Bring on adulthood. But then came a random day, a random accident and a sobering and humbling lesson...

On February 22nd, my dad, a friend from high school and I were all set to drive up to Henderson together. Derek and I had meetings in East Texas and Dad had been at a conference here in Austin. Our plan? Derek to pick me up at my house at 11 and we would pick up Dad on our way out of town. The day before, I "randomly" decided that I would work from home the next morning. So, I did. Got up, made some hot tea and settled into working remotely. Dad texted at 9:45 and said that he was done with his conference, so I decided to go ahead and pick him up. I did... we were gone around 10 minutes. I pulled into the garage, walked across the street to say hi to my neighbor, walked in the front door and then closed the garage door. Dad and I were sitting in the living room for about 5 minutes when there was a loud POP and the lights flickered. We jumped up and my garage door opener (hanging on the ceiling of my garage) was on fire. Flames were on the ceiling and on the top of my car. Dad went to swat at the flame on my car with his right hand. Instead of it being a flame, it was a burning piece of plastic. It stuck. To his hand. His hand was on fire. He got it out, one of us got a towel and he beat out the rest of the flame with a towel. I took a look at his hand and immediately got in the car to go to the ER.

Once at the ER, the doctor looked at his hand, said that there were probably 2nd and 3rd degree burns and that we should go to a burn unit. Just FYI, but there are only 3 major burn units in Texas: San Antonio, Galveston and Dallas. We decided to get in the car and drive to Dallas... because we didn't know what the extent of the damage would be and what the recovery time would be. We stopped by my house to grab all of our stuff, I kissed Layla on the head and we headed to Dallas. Dad, on morphine. Me, having to be the adult.

I made tons of phone calls. Insurance. Contractor. Family. Friends. But once things calmed, I cried. Not boohoo-my-life-sucks crying. The "oh my goodness... I'm so blessed" cry.

Had it been any other day or even our original plan, my home would've burned down. My car would've exploded. My LaylaBug would be gone. Had my dad not been there, I would've thrown water onto an electrical fire.

--- Before I get into the serious part of this blog, before dad was given his shot of morphine, he looked at me and said, "I'm not responsible for anything I say in the car." I told him he would be... 45 minutes outside of Dallas - "Dad, you just quoted Shakespeare while on morphine." ---

But here's the thing. God is Sovereign. He REIGNS over decisions, outcomes and circumstances. Had it been in His plan to lose my house, I would have. But it wasn't. He took my "everyday", tweaked it and made it so. I couldn't get over that. I still can't. I feel like there are a whole lot of people that have trouble wrapping their heads around God's Sovereignty. That some things are just chance. That we are lucky. They feel like we are puppets in this show that God puts on. And that's fine if you do... or know someone that does. I struggled with this a lot at one point. I still, from time to time, struggle and wrestle with that thought. But that day, February 22nd, I wasn't struggling. It was clear. It was evident. It was a "Sarah. I'm ALWAYS here. My plans are BETTER than yours."

I also couldn't shake my dad's injury. I felt guilty that I a) didn't have a fire extinguisher (which I own 2 now) and b) that he had to get hurt over this. But, he wanted to help me... he wanted to save the house. He wanted to do whatever he could to protect me. Sound familiar? And, he was hurt. Sinking in yet? This small incident made me see more clearly how the love of our Heavenly Father is portrayed in my earthly father. How when I become a parent, I'll be able to experience what it feels like to love a child the way God loves me. But, how as a child (even an almost 30 year old child), my dad will always treat me like his girl. My mom too. I will always be loved... even to the point of pain. How precious is that to see so clearly? It still rocks me... 2 weeks later. The days following I stayed home in Henderson with dad while mom went to work. (She had been out sick the whole week before with the flu... and we all know the awesome sick-leave time teachers get!) I tried my best to serve my dad... not because I should, but because I wanted to. He had done something for me, something I never asked him to and I just wanted to thank him with service. So I tried. Just like I try to do so with Jesus. Not because I should... but because I'm moved to. Wow. We really do live out the Gospel more often than we think!

If you are still reading, Dad is doing well. We got to Dallas and after a follow-up appointment, it looks like the burns are mostly 2nd degree. HUGE PRAISE! He has to clean his hand once a day (at that time he takes some pain meds), and mom and I think the bandages make his hand look like the Hamburger Helper glove. And, in true Terry-form, he'll say over and over again that in college his fraternity volunteered at the kids wing of the Galveston burn unit... and this is absolutely nothing compared to what those poor kids had to go through. Perspective. He's got it for sure :) The insurance companies are on top of things. The garage door company is offering to pay for damages. God is providing. God is good. And He is Sovereign.

heart full of joy and tears in my eyes

2011-02-28T16:25:00.000-06:00

Sometime in the next few days, I'll share with you the craziness that occurred last week.

But, for now... I'd like you all to read something that filled my heart with joy and my eyes with tears in the midst of this little episode of chaos on Wednesday. Most of you know that my sweet cousin, Blair, has Cystic Fibrosis. There are treatments... but no cure. It is a huge prayer of mine (and everyone who knows B) for God to lead researchers and doctors to a cure... and oh, what exciting news this is...


		Dear Friend, I am writing today with great news. This morning, we announced very exciting results from the clinical study of a new treatment for cystic fibrosis. The oral drug, known as VX-770, targets the defective protein that causes CF. A Phase 3 trial evaluated patients who carry at least one copy of a CF mutation called G551D. Patients who took the drug showed marked improvements in a number of key measures of the disease, including improved lung function, fewer pulmonary exacerbations, patient-reported reductions in respiratory symptoms and weight gain. In addition, average sweat chloride levels of patients on VX-770 dropped toward normal -- indicating the drug is impacting the underlying defect in CF. VX-770 is being developed by Vertex Pharmaceuticals, and was discovered in collaboration with the CF Foundation. Vertex plans to submit a New Drug Application to the Food and Drug Administration with the hope of approval sometime in 2012. To learn more about this important development, visit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's website to read our news story and the announcements issued by the Foundation and Vertex and FAQs. Our story was reported in The New York Times this morning. Read the article here. This achievement would not be possible without your support. Thank you for all you are doing to help bring us closer to a cure. Sincerely, Robert J. Beall, Ph.D. President and CEO Cystic Fibrosis Foundation 800-FIGHT-CF info@cff.org www.cff.org --------------------------- To learn more about the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, visit www.cff.org. Connect to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation on: Facebook Twitter Sign up to receive information by e-mail. Remember to add info@cff.org to your address book or safe sender list to ensure that you will continue to receive our updates! Click here to unsubscribe http://llists.cff.org/u?id=7653785.41d94da63ef0e15a9fee54c946da9ccd&n=T&l=cffinfo&o=100290 If the link does not work, please send an e-mail to on-unsubscribe@llists.cff.org from the address you would like removed. Read our privacy policy. Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, 6931 Arlington Road, Bethesda, MD 20814

sometimes, life is hard.

2011-02-15T15:36:00.001-06:00

Y'all this world is crazy. It's broken. It's heartbreaking. I am so grateful to have Jesus, a great family and wonderful friends to help me live day-to-day, moment-by-moment. We are called to live in community. And the Lord has provided me with nothing short of a phenomenal one. Thankfully, we share burdens and pray pray pray for those of us that are dealing with hurt.

But the hard things are still hard. The tough times are still tough. There will still be crying, confusion and sadness. It's just part of this life that we live. And, it's ok... because there is MORE. Can I get an Amen and Whoop to that?!

I know that I speak for so many right now, but there is a lot of hard stuff that people are dealing with and facing right now. For some reason, the element of the "threes" (you know, everything happens in 3s) isn't in play this time. I have a lot of friends that are hurting. I lot of friends that are confused and scared of what the future holds. 3 deaths, 3 battles of cancer, a miscarriage. Just heartbreaking stuff. And, to be brutally honest... sometimes I just get tired of praying. I get worn out. I put the Bible away for a few days (or more). I get the mentality of "God, You're going to do whatever You want to do anyway... why do I need to even pray?!"

Here's the deal. Intercessory prayer, praying on the behalf of others, is biblical. If you are curious, let me know... I'll send you a long list of verses that lay these facts down for us. But, regardless if you want verses or not, Jesus interceded for us. On that thing called the Cross. He did something for us that we sure didn't deserve. But He did it. So, in my mind, that means that I need to put my violin down and get on my knees.

So, where do I start? Well. I'm glad you asked. I pick up this book...

Literally, when I don't have the words. The Holy Spirit leads me to a prayer in this book that does. A prayer that exactly portrays my heart, my struggle, my whatever-I'm-dealing-with-that-day. Even... EVEN when it's for a friend and, whoa, not myself? Why yes. Even when needing to pray for others.

These prayers no doubt stir my heart... get me aimed towards the right direction, and I very rarely want to stop there. That's when I open the Word and just let God fill me up. Help me to focus on Heaven. On the goodness that IS in this world. How blessed I am.

So, just to share. This has been the latest prayer in Valley of Vision that I've turned to often in the past week or so. I truly encourage all of you to pick it up...

"The Grace of the Cross"

O MY SAVIOUR,
I thank thee from the depths of my being for thy wondrous grace and love in bearing my sin in thine own body on the tree. May thy cross be to me as the tree that sweetens my bitter Marahs, as the rod that blossoms with life and beauty, as the brazen serpent that calls forth the look of faith. By thy cross crucify my every sin; use it to increase my intimacy with thyself; make it the ground of all my comfort, the liveliness of all my duties, the sum of all thy gospel promises, the comfort of all my afflictions, the vigour of my love, thankfulness, graces, the very essence of my religion; and by it give me that rest without rest, the rest of ceaseless praise.

O MY LORD AND SAVIOUR,
Thou hast also appointed a cross for me to take up and carry, a cross before thou givest me a crown. Thou hast appointed it to be my portion, but self-love hates it, carnal reason is unreconciled to it; without the grace of patience I cannot bear it, walk with it, profit by it. O blessed cross, what mercies dost though bring with thee! Thou art only esteemed hateful by my rebel will, heavy because I shirk thy load. Teach me, gracious Lord and Saviour, that with my cross thou sendest promised grace so that I may bear it patiently, that my cross is thy yoke which is easy, and thy burden which is light.

*Also, as a side note, The Austin Stone just finished a sermon series on Heaven and Hell. Matt wrapped it up last week on Heaven. Don't worry I went to the service twice... because it was that good. If you are interested in hearing the sermons, you can find them HERE.

nothing short of a personality.

2011-02-14T16:59:00.000-06:00

Over the past few years, I've heard of these personality tests... mainly from people at The Stone. Back in the fall, a friend gave me the Strengths Finder book (with the code to take the test online) and I decided to go ahead and do Your Unique Design on my own. I really like both of these tests... just because it helps you to define your personality and strengths. I'm a sucker for these random quizzes... an absolute sucker. Thought I'd share my results... because I think both test results are pretty spot-on. And that's just awesome.

Your Unique Design

100% Harmonizer
This is the warm, nurturing and affectionate part of your personality that expresses
love and concern emotionally through soft words, reassurance, permission, affirmation and appropriate
touch. Your Harmonizer offers emotionally expressive, feeling-oriented, unconditional love.
This is the strongest part of your personality. You can draw on these abilities at all times and have the
least chance of experiencing stress and moving into negative behavior when the tasks at hand call for
this part.

57% Persister

This is your protective part that evaluates and avoids danger. The Persister part of your
personality is value-driven, measuring everyone and every experience against an internal system of
your beliefs and standards.You have fair energy available in this part. You can call upon these traits for a moderate time as long as you continue to meet the needs of the lower floors of your Personality Structure. You must still return to those more familiar floors to energize yourself on a regular basis and ongoing basis.

57% Energizer

This is the playful, emotional, and spontaneously expressive part of your personality.
Much artistic expression and creativity comes from the Energizer part. Your Energizer cries, laughs,
sighs and jumps for joy. This part allows you to express anger in healthy ways, without attacking or
blaming someone else, and to experience and express deep grief or sorrow over losses and
disappointments.You have fair energy available in this part. You can call upon these traits for a moderate time as long as you continue to meet the needs of the lower floors of your Personality Structure. You must still
return to those more familiar floors to energize yourself on a regular basis and ongoing basis.

Strengths Finder

Empathy

senses the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations.

don't confuse with sympathy.

Strategic

create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

Positivity

enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

Developer

recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

Adaptability

prefer to "go with the flow." They tend to be "now" people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.

Have you taken either or both of these tests? If so, what were your results? And do you think they were worth you taking??

i like new things.

2011-02-11T11:26:00.000-06:00

Wow. I have not been good at this blogging business. Lots of things brewing in the old noggin as far as blog posts go... but until I get them all situated, you'll have to do with a modge podge of a blog post... the links are embedded into the pictures if you're interested in shopping or learning more! You're welcome.

Here are some recent Etsy purchases... that site is 100% dangerous for me.

If your name is Olivia, close your eyes. Cause this is for Baby Emmaline!!

How cute is this little guy?! I mean... super fun baby gift. I can just see little Miss Emmaline walking around with her owl pillow and a blanket in tow.

I got these prints to put in my bedroom. I LOVE them. However, don't let the picture size fool you. They are only 8x10s... and that makes me a little sad.

I've had the same make-up bag for 10+ years. It was time for a new one. So I found this one... AND I had it personalized. Whoop!

Some other favorites these days...

I'm a nerd. I like to do my taxes EARLY. And this is literally the.best. in helping me get the most out of my tax return!

Buy this album immediately. Well. This is the cover of the EP, but they have a new album (Barton Hollows) that is #1 on iTunes right now. So, it will not be difficult for you to find it. You won't regret it. Seriously. Stop reading this blog and go download right now.

I just signed up for this yesterday. I'm ambitious today... let's see about how I feel tomorrow...

This is a really cool site! If you love to read, definitely get you a Good Reads account.I love it because I can keep track of the books I have read or am reading. Not to mention that you can have "friends" that you can share your book lists with... therefore getting recommendations on "good reads". Niiice. Love it!

If you have an iPhone, want to work out, but need a little direction... this one is my new favorite! It's a Nike Training app that is just.for.women. There are different categories (Lean, Toned, Strong, Focused), and within that are multiple different workouts to choose from. The absolute BEST part of this app is that a) you can play your own music whilst working out, b) it tells you when to start and stop a circuit and c) there are instructional videos. Yes. I love that... I get to see what the work out is and make sure I'm doing it right. Very cool.

How He Loves

2011-01-18T14:07:00.015-06:00

2011. So far it's brought a lot of laughs, my first of many faulty-dance-move bruises, several trips to the movie theater and lots of time in a classic novel. I've rejoiced over reconciliation with an old friend, I've prayed my way through frustration only to be blessed further and replaced college football season with Aggie basketball.

But, these first few days of 2011 has also been very difficult. My heart has been broken for close friends. My heart IS broken for close friends. I have cried a lot of tears, I have prayed a lot of prayers. I've called my mom a lot. Cancer for one family. Suicide for another. Those things are daggers to the heart... no matter who goes through them.

At any rate, this past Sunday, the sermon at the Stone was titled: The Good News of Suffering. I prayed my way through this sermon as tears streamed down my face. I prayed for my friends... that in spite of suffering, we are all sheep of THE Shepherd. That despite how we run, when we run, what we run to, what we have to face, how we face it or when we face it, He will never leave us. We are His. No matter what. In light of a sweet friend's death, I am so grateful for this reminder.

But the waterworks really turned on when we sang one of my favorite songs. David Crowder's "How He Loves". I normally tear up when I hear this song... but this time it was different. It was what I needed to hear... and seeing has how it's Tuesday and I'm still thinking about it... I feel like it's something I should share with you. Maybe you need to hear it. Maybe you don't right now. But, I just hope that this post blesses someone out there.

How He Loves

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way…

That He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

the year in review.

2010-12-31T12:06:00.000-06:00

Friends. 2010 is quickly taking it's bow. Final curtain call. Wow. What an incredible, crazy, awesome, scary year. Here's my year in review:

10 - (or more) orders I've placed on Amazon.com in 2010. I think I have a problem.

9 - number of days I got to spend with my family for Christmas this year

8 - number of mornings I actually got up and made it to Boot Camp. In August. Thanks humidity... you're for the birds.

7 - number of times I cried when my 14-year old, Maggie, died.

6 - the AM hour I was standing on South Congress with my Aunt and Uncle to cheer my cousin, Blair, in his first half marathon!

5 - number of goals I set here and actually kept.

4 - total number of times I dealt with moving boxes this year.

3 - number of trips I went on this year! New York to celebrate ringing in 2010 with some of my best friends. St. Lucia with family and friends to play and witness my cousin getting married! Denver on a much needed girls trip with my best friend!

2 - number of Bucket List items I've crossed off this year :: concert at Red Rocks and seeing the Eagles play live.

1 - undeserved, humble, blessed, convicted, amazed servant of God that can't wait to grow more in love with Him and live out each day for His glory!

Happy 2011!

the long awaited post...

2010-12-16T12:19:00.000-06:00

i thank you for your patience. now... the pictures of the house. you're welcome.

the home sweet home.

when you walk in the front door

and... the kitchen to the right

looking back at the front door

one side of the kitchen

the fridge used to be where the microwave is... and that picture window wasn't there either :)

the other side of the kitchen

took the doors off the cabinets, new counter tops, painted the cabinets

dining room

laundry room

living room from the dining room

french doors... instead of the sliding glass doors

l.o.v.e. this.

added the bookshelves. l.o.v.e. this too.

hallway.

bathroom

my room

other side of my room

the roommate room. aka i need to find a place to put this stuff room.

the guest bedroom. aka the music fan room.

see. more music.

the blank slate of a back yard. can't wait for this spring!

hello. random speaking.

2010-12-13T14:42:00.000-06:00

Last week I had a few "oh wow, I'm random" moments. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "what's new"... but I had to write these moments down to share...

Signatures

I have an odd fascination with signing my name. Like. I love to sign my name. Seriously. It's weird. I like comparing one signature with the previous one. In my head, I say "sorry" to the poor chap that will be receiving the work Christmas card/2011 Calendar with my "ugly" signature. I mean, it will be hanging in his/her office for ALL of 2011.

"Dear Banker, I'm sorry that you didn't get the best signature out of me. No offense to you or anything. But, be sure to visit Banker Tom in Smalltown, Tx to see what the real deal looks like. Sincerely, < insert an even better signature of Sarah > (you're welcome)"

No, seriously... I thought about doing that. Or I thought about signing all of the cards "Decker"... seeing as how most of the time, even at work, my first name is irrelevant. I had the quick thought of me just dropping my first name all together and going all Madonna-esque on y'all. Alas, I dropped that notion, but not after some internal debate.

Ok, moving on now...

Cold Feet

Haha... not the cold feet that you're probably thinking of. I mean, HELLO... I guarantee by the time I get to the alter I'll be skipping like a little 5 year old instead of pulling a runaway bride move. I digress. Cold Feet. I hate it when my feet are hot. Hate it. But more than anything, I hate it when my feet are hot at night. I'm constantly moving my feet from side to side throughout the night to find the cool spots in the sheets. This is where I feel sad for people that never sleep with top sheets... because they miss out on this goodness. Or maybe I'm the only person alive that knows about this secret. If so. You're welcome.

Two Fans

I'm pretty sure I've shared this with most of you. And for those of you that know me really well and have slept in the same room with me since college will know that I sleep with not one, but TWO fans. Ceiling fan and a tornado-type fan blowing right beside my bed. Two fans. 365 nights a year. It doesn't matter if it's freezing outside. Heck, it doesn't matter if the heat is out. Two fans. Two fans. Two fans.

Dear Future Husband, get ready. Love always, Decker... err I mean, Sarah

PreMature Stall Opener

Ok, this one may be TMI for a few... but whatever. I'm proud to say I'm a premature stall opener. When I'm in a pubilc bathroom, I often find myself opening the stall door before my pants are fully in tact. I mean, they are pulled up... but I'm probably in mid-button phase. Sorry if that makes you feel awkward Ms. Random Lady in the Bathroom. I just gotta get out of that stall!

You're Welcome.

Aka my new phrase. I've been saying it a lot here lately... and almost never after someone says "thank you". For instance:

In response to a possible prank that may or may not be played when I go home for Christmas...

"Our signature just needs to be a sign that says, 'You're Welcome.'"

Someone's day has gotten better after they spent some time with you and they may or may not be referring to that time? - You're welcome.

You're hometown football team wins State for the first time ever? - You're welcome.

Tell people they need to sign up on Skype and when they do? - You're welcome.

Ok, maybe not as funny written out. But it's funny in my head. And for that, and all of the other completely useless information stated above... you're welcome.

the we lessons.

2010-12-07T13:18:00.000-06:00

I just realized that it's been a long while since I blogged. I think the most exciting/stressful/humbling thing that has been going on is that of buying and moving into my new home. Now, before I get going... I don't have my pictures to show you. I'll save that for another time. I'm in deep Sarah mode, so I apologize that deep Sarah is who you are about to get. Brace yourselves...

When I bought this house, I tried to have a plan of "attack". I had ordered appliances, settled on a contractor (who was INCREDIBLE, by the by) and started working on painting myself. I prayed for this house... I prayed what it would be to me AND to everyone that stepped foot into it. I was ready to make this house a home. I'm not going to bore you with crazy stories of having appliances on "hold" or about how I have memorized the extensions for the people I need to talk to at 1-800-BEST-BUY or how many trips I've made to Lowe's in the last month... but I do want to talk about the hardest thing I've had to learn... the we lessons.

Through the course of time between signing the dotted line and well... now, when asked about the house, I would often respond in the plural form. For example, "we're cutting a hole in the wall.", "we'll go over and paint tonight.", "it'll be so exciting once we're all moved in." Now please note, this became rather embarrassing... because, I, in fact, am not a we. I had to laugh it off a few more times than I care to admit.

At any rate, these are the 3 we things I have prayed through, figured out and learned from...

Simply stated, I am ready to be a "we". I had some incredibly lonely moments over the past month. Literally, carrying these burdens by myself. I prayed that I would let go, that I could lay all of my frustrations and worries at the Lord's feet. And, to be honest, I prayed for God to show me what I was missing... because I still had this huge stress that wasn't letting up. And, I prayed more consistently for a husband than I have in a very long time. I asked God to prepare my heart and the heart of some man that would be able to walk through this life with one another. To share the burden... even if it is still me having to take off of work or call the electrician or get a little fierce with a manager. I didn't necessarily need someone to take care of me... I just really desired to have someone to share the burden... and whenever I was struggling, to point me back to Jesus... to encourage and challenge me to love the people that, in that moment, were very hard to love. I wanted a partner. I still want a partner.

"even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you." - John 14:17

I knew I wasn't alone. I knew that God was walking me through this the whole thing... even though I didn't physically have someone beside me. But then it dawned on me... maybe a deeper layer of this "we" thing I keep on word-vomiting is because I am apart of a we... Now there's a eureka moment, Decker... come.on. I've been praying for a home for a long time... praying to have a place that brings God glory. He has provided in more ways that I have ever imagined. He has provided the way. HE makes me a we. I realized that I am part of this we. And I'm the one that had to go through these inconveniences so that He could be glorified and use this home the way He wants it used! "So, God, you're saying I didn't do this all on my own? I shouldn't get caught up on not having someone in this physically with me, because You are always there and seeing me through this?" - "Yes, dodo brain, I.got.this." Ok, so maybe God doesn't call me a dodo brain, and calls me "My beloved" instead... but it was the gut-punch I needed to tame this woe-is-me state I've been dwelling in.

"The Lord your God is in your midst..." - Zephaniah 3:17

So the last we lesson has really come into play over the last few weeks. I've handed out 4 keys to friends, they have their own alarm codes and they know they have to let Layla out when they come over. They know how the TV works, that they can add whatever they want to the Netflix and Hulu accounts. They have volunteered to have get-togethers at the house and then call me to let me know. They've met the neighbors. They know they've always got a home away from home. God has shown me that there is no I, my, me or mine in this... this is truly a we. In less than a month, He has not only given me a home, but given others a home too. It's what I've been praying for... and He's answered it so clearly and abundantly. I'm just excited to see what else He has in store!

welp...

2010-11-01T12:05:00.000-05:00

This small town girl has signed the dotted line and is now a HOMEOWNER!! Never thought I'd actually be doing this. I've dreamed about having a home of my own for SO long!

All thanks and praise to God for literally providing every single step of the way! He's in control of all of this and I'm just the blessed girl that gets to experience it.

So, with all of that said... if you're ever in Austin... stop by!!

this just in...

2010-10-25T15:28:00.001-05:00

I'm a planner. I love to plan. I have calendars... yes, plural. I love making weekend plans, vacation plans, dinner plans. I mean, I am pretty much the self-appointed birthday committee chairperson for most of my friend's birthday parties. Don't get me wrong, I love being spontaneous... but that's all when I don't have a plan. I mean, I'll make a plan for the weekend to do nothing, and then fill it with all kinds of spontaneous fun things. But, at least I planned on doing nothing...

Here's the deal, I don't like it when my plans fall through. I'm buying a house. I've set up the utilities, gas, internet, alarm... even getting my address change. I like to be prepared as much as possible. I have the contractor lined up to literally start on the house as soon as I get the keys. I've picked out the paint, hardwood floors, stove, fridge, washer, dryer, countertops... heck, even my sink. I did all of this, even preparing for closing to happen a day later or so. Well. This just in. Closing... yeah... let's add like 10 days to that. For real? 10 days?

This is NOT necessarily the time I was hoping to be spontaneous. Really.

I found out the possibility of closing a "few" days later on Friday right before I left work. My instant reaction was frustration. I kept saying to myself, "This is NOT a big deal!" But, I was fighting the planner inside of me... already thinking of how I would have to call each place to delay set up and how this just pushes back every little plan made along the way. And, that it effects more than just me. My parents, aunt, Beth, my friend that was going to move me on Veteran's Day. All of them are going to have to re-think and re-schedule their weekends or if they will be able to come at all. But, as soon as I came out of the only-child-syndrome, I started praying. After all, I want HIS plan over my own. If that means I don't close on time, then it is for God's glory. If that means that I don't close at all, then it is for God's glory. If it means that my contractor falls through and I move in as-is, then it is for God's glory. I have faith in God's plan for me... and that includes this house that I have dreamed big dreams about. I only want it if He wills it for me. It's His money, His loan.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Please know I'm not trying to be dramatic. This is just really a fight over control in my heart. If I had it my way, I would totally be in control. (And everything would be right on schedule, by the way.) So, this is just a struggle that I'm putting out there before the world. I have to pray my way through it... and totally remember the unbelievable provision He's given me along the way. I mean, seriously. Heaven sent. Even today, in the midst of my unwelcomed news that closing will be for sure delayed, I got the news that I am locked in at this incredible interest rate... that will for sure save me $$ over time! Why can't I just be hyped over that? Control, planner Sarah needs to bounce. I think I need the spontaneous, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants Sarah a lot more... especially in this situation! And now that I'm starting to sound bipolar, I'm going to stop writing...

peace out, glutten.

2010-10-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

In the midst of buying a home, a crazy work schedule, friends coming into town, ACL Festival (whoop!), et al... I decided I was gonna go gluten free in October. I don't really have a valid reason... more of just wanting to see if changing my eating habits will help me have more energy.

Day 3 Status? I'm holding up. :) No bread, pasta, chick-fil-a, saltines with my chili... woah.is.me. However, I will say that the past 2 mornings, I've actually woken up when my alarm went off. Coincidence? Maybe. Who knows...

There you have it. So long to those things I really love. At least until I go home at the end of the month and maybe... just maybe... have some Leon's Nutbread waiting for me. (hint hint to the parentals!)

Oh yes, as an update about the Laser Hair Removal. I did 3 treatments... and I think I'm back to shaving everyday. Arg. I think they want you to do 5 or 6, but I just didn't have it in me to drop another chunk of change. Alas, no hair was great while it lasted...

lowe's is about to be my new friend.

2010-10-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

So, there's a reason why I haven't blogged as of late. Have I been traveling for work? Yep. Have I been busy with other things outside of work? Sure. But, I've been intentionally holding out on you guys... cause I can be mischievous like that sometimes.

Well... the big news?

I'M BUYING A HOUSE!

There... I said it. And it feels good :)

Now, most of you are probably thinking, "Didn't she just move?" Yes... I did. I'm ridiculous and never seem to do things in the most logical way. However, I fell in love with this house, it was the right price and after LOTS of prayer... I felt like it was what God was leading me to do.

So, as of right now, I'll be closing at the end of October. However, I may close earlier once all the stuff with my bank gets straight. Oh.my.

It won't be as easy as moving in... why? Well, I'm a Decker. But, more than that, I'm my mother's daughter. We gotta make things our own. When we nest, we like to nest in something that we LOVE. That's just how we roll. So... I've signed on with a contractor (whom I have lovingly deemed as my "dad in Austin") that will start on a little ren-o-vation as soon as I close. I've promised him that I will be his dream customer and have everything picked out and ordered before I close.

Don't worry that the fall is the busiest season at work. And, that I have things planned almost every weekend of October. But, by goodness gracious, I WILL be having a Crimah party come December.

Without further ado... here's the future homestead...

Please be praying for this home... that it is a home to everyone who enters it! That God's light can shine through these walls and that it is a place for Him to do a work in me and everyone who walks through the door!

I'm particularly praying Ephesians 3:20 over the house:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,

according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church

and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

mountains.

2010-09-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

I had the incredible blessing of going to Colorado with my best friend, Beth, last weekend. It was our first trip since college... it was much needed for us, but also for our souls.

This is why...

When I think of Colorado, I literally take a deep breath. And do this...

I love this state. I love the mountains. I love being there. Ever since I was young, we would take trips up to Colorado at all times of the year... and each time I left, I felt like I was going to miss out on something. I love this place.

Beth and I both came to the conclusion that a pipe-dream is for both of us to have a mountain home. Really, I can seriously see myself splitting my time between the Texas Hill Country and the Rocky Mountains. I'm pretty sure that would make my dreams come true.

Why do I love the mountains? I love the breeze, the temperature, the nature. But, mostly, I love that I feel closer to God when I'm there. I pray all the time... I take in His majesty. I find myself worshiping a LOT more throughout the day. I'm definitely more grateful. I feel like I'm the best form of me.

But, at the heart of it all, I love Texas. I'm a Texas girl through and through. And, as exciting as it is to think of living in Colorado year-round, I know I would miss my Texas. I would miss being close to family. I would miss Austin... and East Texas... and College Station... and every person I love in between. I would miss my church. I would miss it all.

Sometimes the grass isn't always so green on the other side. I gotta keep that in mind. Especially when I'm starting to fertilize the grassy field I'm standing in!

But... oh the Colorado. I'm definitely going to be spending more time there.

the feeling or the know :: part deux

2010-09-01T14:49:00.000-05:00

To make a really long story as short as I can, I'm starting to look for a house. I've been wanting to buy my own place for as long as I can remember. Beth claims that even in college, I would talk about buying a house. I love homes of all kinds. I love saving ideas for my future home. I will love making a house a home.

I recently, totally on a whim, decided to get pre-qualified for a home loan. Little did I know that about 2 weeks later I would randomly decide to answer a casting call for HGTV's "My First Place"...

Now, before you all either roll your eyes or get hyped with excitement... I'm NOT going to be on TV. The casting director and I became fast friends (met her this past weekend in Denver!)... and she was sure I'd be chosen. However, HGTV was satisfied with the number of stories they had received and stopped the call, quite abruptly. My casting director wasn't even able to submit my video. Bummer.

However, through the whole process of going through the interviews for this show, I just kept on praying that I was doing the right thing. That I wasn't buying a house to just be on TV, or to get a free room makeover at the end of the show... I wanted to do it because it was the right time, because it was God giving me the thumbs up. But, after all was said and done, and the show was completely out of the mix... I still had the feel or the know that I am really ready to have a place of my own... and that this is where God is leading me.

I was supposed to go look for the first time yesterday afternoon, but a dead car battery deterred me from doing so. It took everything in me, in my moment of frustration, to not think that "this was a sign". But, I am ready. I feel like God has brought me to a place where now is the time. Now, my now may not be God's now... but never-the-less, I feel like I'm supposed to start this journey.

It petrifies me that I'm considering doing this. I constantly doubt myself... my feeling or know... but I feel like I'm supposed to trust that. To trust that it's from God. It's a huge struggle to have to do a heart-check like every 30 minutes when I think about it. When it comes to this... I definitely have "the fear of the Lord". :)

So that's that. A few months ago, I told some of my close friends, "it feels like something BIG's about to happen... I don't know what it is... but I think it's going to be BIG." I guess it's a wait and see thing now!!

Would appreciate any prayers as I'm still discerning God's plan in all of this... I don't want to be swayed with my own desires over His calling.

the feeling or the know :: part 1

2010-08-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

Molly recently told me that I am really good at relying on my instincts. I took it as a compliment, but it got me to thinking. I really do rely on how things make me feel. As I've grown in my faith, I definitely pray about things before making a decision... but often I rely on my heart for the feel or the know. Like, if I ask God to give me wisdom on making a decision... if my heart doesn't change or seem to be deterred even just a little... I trust that I'm making the right move.

Some of the best things in my life have happened via the feel or the know. For instance, when it comes to my closest friends, I can remember just knowing that they would be in my life forever. When Beth and I had only hung out a few times prior to me going on a trip to Europe with my mom... I came back and asked her,

"Is it weird that I missed you? I think we're supposed to be best friends..."

Thankfully, she agreed :) The night I met a guy that I would end up dating for a long time, I wrote in my journal:

"He may not be around forever, but I know he'll be around for a while."

When I moved to Austin the first time, when I moved to Dallas, when I moved back to Austin. I just knew... I just knew it was what I needed to do. When Linda and I decided to live together... I knew it would be the best thing for me. When I interviewed for my job at IBAT, before I was offered the job or told how much the pay would be or when I would need to start, I told my now-bosses,

"I don't know if you want to offer me this job or not, but just know that if you do, I will take it."

I make decisions quickly... and I jump in with both feet. It's my nature to give 110% to the things in life I feel like I should do... the things I'm supposed to do. Whether serving in ministry, relationships, jobs, cities, buying a car or computer, heck... even buying a prom dress... I commit and commit quickly. I'm what some would call passionate.

To be honest, this passionate reality scares me. It scares me that my heart seems so easily swayed... so quick to decide. It scares me that I will somehow lose everything I've learned as soon as I meet the next guy. It scares me that I will dive into something and then struggle from it consuming me. It scares me to be passionate.

But, at the same time, I trust the passionate Sarah. I trust that it's God leading my heart. I trust that He's made me this way... even though I don't quite understand it. Looking back over the last 29 years, I don't think that having the feeling or the know has led me too far astray. In fact, I think the times where I go most off of course is when I try to push back the feeling or the know. I've learned the hard way to trust the feeling when I need to walk away... when I need to doubt... when I need to question... when I need to fight.

In part 2 of this post, I'll fill you in on the latest struggle to be passionate. Probably all of this will make better sense... :)

pulling a fast one...

2010-08-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

Well... for some of you, I'm pulling a fast one on you! I always like to mix it up from time to time, so with much anticipation... I give you... the new, refreshed blog title and look!

When I originally named my blog "My Cup Runneth Over"... I truly meant it. I was and am overwhelmingly blessed by the love of Christ that surrounds me. But, like I posted in Apt 731, I feel like God is starting to make some big changes in my life. Some of which I know what they are, and a whole lot more that I have no clue what's to come! So... I thought a blog title change... a little refresher was appropriate.

My absolute favorite song ever is Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. I know, it's kind of cliche' now, but I have really always loved this song... you can ask my Momma! The first line of the song is, as most of you know,

"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took a midnight train going anywhere..."

Well, I am certainly not living in a lonely world. And I didn't take a train anywhere, except for the time my mom and I rode the train to Dallas when I was 7. But, by the grace of God, I am a small town girl that landed in Austin, Texas. Gosh, I love this city... it's become part of who I am. I love being able to say that I live here, I love seeing how God is changing this city, I love being apart of that change, I love the music, the culture, the laid-back-ness, the unique things you can only find, do or see in Austin. I love that there is something that is always new to try, but that it's the heart of history of this great State.

But more than any of that, I fully, with all of my heart, trust this journey that God has me on. I know it's for His glory and His purpose... and I'm just blessed to have been chosen to be apart of it. So... I guess you could say that I "don't stop believin'" in this journey called life. As far as my posts go, nothing is changing... you'll still get some Jesus, the random funny story, the "what's going on" in my life and probably a few more food postings. It's all from this small town girl perspective... living in this great big world... all the while never ceasing to believe... Hope y'all are as hyped as I am!

blind.

2010-08-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

Often, I pray for God to give me eyes to see and ears to hear... to break my heart for what breaks His. And, almost every single time I pray these things, I'm convicted by something I chose to spend my time reading, listening to, saying, watching or thinking. Always. So, I pray for it more... But, it wasn't until recently, that in the midst of praying these things, that I felt led to be thankful for the gifts to see, hear, speak, feel... and let's face it, taste, because I love food.

At any rate, yesterday I was on the plane coming back from a day-long meeting in Dallas. I was tired... I was ready to be home. I snagged a seat on the front row of seats in between two older men. Not really in the mood to talk, I figured that this was the safest bet. But then, that conviction of the Holy Spirit kicked in, and I at least thought I should make a little small talk... because I don't think Jesus would have ever just sat on a plane and not engaged in some meaningful conversation.

I started chatting with the man on my right, and quickly learned that he is 100% legally blind. He had beautiful, sky-colored eyes and a heart-warming smile. He loved his job of traveling all over Texas, sharing with different companies this incredible product that turns our print media into media for the blind. As he was talking, I was sitting there thinking, "no computer? no internet? no TV? no iPhone? no driving?!" It never really occurred to me that the blind really don't have all of those modern-day gadgets and conveniences that all of us don't even think twice about. But then, the good ol' Holy Spirit started tugging at my heart... again.

The truth is that I am blessed. I can see the beauty, wonder and greatness of God's creation. My sight is something I truly take for granted. I know that the Lord has provided incredible things for those without sight... I know that this man, and any other human with a beating heart, is created in God's image. I hope that all of you know I wasn't sitting there thinking, "Oh poor little blind man..." I was merely just reflecting on those precious gifts that I take for granted every single day. I was whole-heartedly convicted about the things I waste my sight on... facebook, stupid tv shows or stupid movies. I couldn't help but be sick at the thought that I chose these things often over reading my Bible, reading books or taking in God's creation... or anything that stirs my heart into loving Jesus more. I waste my sight.

Now, I'm not going to swear off TV or anything like that... but in those times where I know that I should be doing something else and my flesh just wants to sit on the couch and do nothing... well, I don't want to waste my sight anymore. I want to grow, learn and pray. I want to fall deeply and intimately in love with Jesus. I am a wasteful person... and I think I've finally had a little wake-up call.

As I was leaving the airport yesterday, I thanked God for Steve. For using him in my life... and I just pray that Steve felt the love of Jesus through our conversation. We didn't talk about Jesus at all... but I just hope he felt His presence the way I did. :) My heart has been stirred in a way that was desperately needed.

No-10

2010-07-29T14:09:00.000-05:00

No-10.

That is the name of this little guy.

Why is he named No-10? Because of this...

My family has a very short history of naming our furniture. Well, my dad and I name our cars... but we have one piece of furniture in our house that has a name. It's a dresser, and his name is Fred. Why Fred? Because when Dad was sanding it down after we bought it, he found that somebody (let's face it, it was a kid) had carved his name into the dressed. When Dad stained it, FRED was loud and clear. So, it's never been a "go look in the dresser" conversation for the Deckers... it's a "go look in Fred".

So, when I decided to do a little re-vamping to my bedside table, you can only imagine my excitement when I found out he, too, had a name. Errr number... whatever. Without further ado, here is the process of giving No-10 a little love...

The new room is close to being complete... as soon as it is, you'll be seeing how No-10, green edition, is fitting in perfectly!

yummmm

2010-07-26T10:34:00.000-05:00

Tacos al Pastor and Mexican Coke. Those are the only words you need to know when you go to this restaurant. Trust.me.

Takoba is a new place that just opened up the first week of July in East Austin. It's on East 7th street. They have their own, huge parking lot... a rare find in Austin, Texas! It's labeled as interior mexican food, but if you are scared of that label, don't be scared of Takoba. In the words of my little friend, Hailey Bloss, this food is "SOOOOOO GOOD." Seriously, Linda and I have gone there 3 weeks in a row... yes, they've only been open for 3 weeks. I think we're about to make some really good friends with the wait staff!

So yes. Takoba. You should check it out. I don't think you will leave disappointed!

Bring it on... line...

2010-07-22T09:47:00.000-05:00

I would like to publicly thank my roommate, Linda, for being the ultimate online shopper and getting me hooked. I'm a fan of mail, I'm a fan of convenience and I'm certainly a fan of free shipping and returns. Bring it on... line.

I love books. And, I own quite a few books I have yet to have read. However, this does not stop me from going onto Amazon and making a few wish lists. It also doesn't stop me from deciding to go ahead and just purchase my entire wish list in one, fell swoop. This just creates more books that I need to read... and a little hefty transaction from Amazon. Awesome.

I just couldn't resist these Amazon purchases. Linda found these last Fall, and seeing as how we will probably only be living together until we are 65 or so, I decided that when the time came that we would have to part ways as roommates, I would need my own copies. What can I say, I'm a planner. These are either already on their way to my doorstep or pre-ordered and will be a "surprise! I forgot I ordered this!" package in the Fall. I heart "surprise! I forgot I ordered this" packages! So, with that, I introduce you to the most adorable collection of classic novels ever. EVER.

Emma. Jane Eyre. Pride and Prejudice. The Hound of the Baskervilles. Wuthering Heights. Sense and Sensibility. Little Women.

There are many more... a few Dickens novels, Shakespeare collections, among others. But, I only got the ones that I have read and loved or hope to read and know I will love! Now, I will hopefully never ever think again, "What book should I read?" Oh... and don't worry that I also ordered two others that I'm really excited about...

So, I guess I pretty much shouldn't be watching any TV or having any kind of social life for the next 6 months... yeah right...

the pits.

2010-07-21T09:09:00.000-05:00

It's no secret... I'm a HUGE fan of Groupon and Living Social coupons. I cashed in on one of my most exciting coupons yesterday...

the laser hair removal coupon

Ahh yes... not ever having to shave my arm pits again? Yes.Please. 3 treatments and those bad boys are exempt from any further hair growth. Done and done. I'm not a hairy person, but if I can save me one thing I have to do a day, I'll take it.

At any rate, I go to the spa place and was met by the most ADORABLE Egyptian lady I've ever seen. She was hilarious and awesome. Not to mention, she thought I was 18... which made me love her more. She immediately made me touch her legs so I could feel what it would feel like and she lifted up her arms and said that she hasn't had to shave in 14 years. My response to her, "Sold."

She took all of 5 minutes to zap at my pits, apparently at a "high voltage" (no, I didn't ask... didn't even want to go there...) When I say zap, I mean mini shocks... when I say mini shocks, I mean "it wasn't the most comfortable feeling in the world". It started smelling like something was burning and realized that it was, in fact, me. Yes, the burning match smell was coming from my skin... or hair... or follicles... yes, a little alarming and awkward all rolled into one. I definitely glanced over to see if there were flames coming from the pits, and to my relief I didn't need to stop-drop-and-roll. Once I was done, I was scheduled to come back in 3 weeks... which by that time I was told, "You will be in love with me, because the hair will not be growing as much or often... it will start falling out... and you will love me." My response: "I have no doubt that I will love you if you make my arm pits as smooth as a baby's butt." I thanked her for thinking I was 18 and shocking me with the ultra voltage and told her to do the same for the next 2 times so I don't have to pay her any more money. She smiled... but I'm gonna make sure she knows I'm serious next time!

So friends, I'm the guinea pig. I'll keep you posted on the pits. And if it works, I may be investing in a lot of treatments in the future. Would that be weird to ask my family for laser hair removal for Christmas?? I'm not above it...

apartment 731 :: journey from then to now

2010-07-20T12:20:00.003-05:00

In August 2008, my life was completely different than now. I was in a serious relationship, one that we both thought and hoped would lead to marriage. But more than that, I had then cancer-free family and friends and I still had my Granny. I had just started a great job back in Austin... and I was back in Austin! Apt 731 was originally a temporary fix to my living situation. By the time we were moving in, this "fix" had grown into a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate. And, by the time we actually made the move, I was literally counting the days... waiting for my relationship to end. I knew that it was where God was leading us. He knew it too. We could both feel it. I even knew that Linda was God's gift to me. My life was about to change when we moved in... and He knew I would need someone to cry to, laugh with, eat with, live life with. My life, my heart, my knowledge, my everything was completely different in August 2008.

Linda and I moved this past weekend. We moved into a beautiful home that she purchased and she is blessing me with it in the process! One of our best friends, Molly, also moved in with us... and only a few days in, I have absolute joy over where God has brought us. When I went to bed on Friday night, our last night in Apt 731, I couldn't help but reflect, rejoice and be thankful for the journey God took me on while living in Apt 731.

Besides the ending of my relationship, my Granny, one of the most godly women in my life, passed away 3 months after we moved in. It was a heavy time in my life... and I certainly had my time on my knees just praying my way through the days and weeks. God allowed me those few months to just be... rest... and let's be honest, dwell. But, in November He began a work in me that hasn't stopped yet... He eventually kicked my butt off of the couch, blessed me with incredible opportunities to become friends with some amazing godly women and even begin being discipled. Over the next several months, my relationship with Jesus grew stronger, my love for Him became more intimate and I learned to pray "I trust You" with every breath I took... and take! I had the blessing of being baptized by my cousin, Blair, and best friend, Beth, in the apartment complex pool... surrounded by my family and friends!

God taught me, and continues to teach me, about idolatry, loving others more than myself, truly applying being a woman of God as a single, seeing the Gospel in everything I do and observe. He's increased my heart for the orphan, living FOR the city of Austin rather than IN it, being a prayer warrior and for all of the college students in Austin. He's brought me from some pretty low points, to exciting opportunities and lessons. He's helped me to see that absolutely NOTHING in this world is more important than Jesus, His Salvation and the Promise of living with my King FOREVER. He's shown me that absolutely NOTHING is out of His hands, He's the source of hope, trust, strength and rest. I have had to learn to let go and try to quit controlling situations. This past September, I learned in the same week that my PawPaw and my friend, Fran, both had cancer. I can honestly say that, despite my sadness over the pain my loved ones were having to go through, I loved being able to trust the fact that this struggle had a purpose for them, for me and everyone else that loved them. I'm not saying cancer is a good thing at all, but the journey through cancer has changed both of these people for the better... and it has helped all of us to love and serve better. And, I rejoice that BOTH PawPaw and Fran are cancer-free now! God is good. :)

At any rate, I could spend weeks writing down everything that I've learned while living in Apt 731. But, I feel like the best way to sum up my time living there is to label it as the place of healing. My broken, saddened and confused heart has been healed. There are two or three songs that every time I hear them, I cry tears of joy over the thought of my Granny singing among the Angels in Heaven at the feet of Jesus. A drive by the Capitol everyday gives me the greatest feeling of thankfulness of answered prayers and hope for those prayed that day. The view outside of my office window of the UT Tower makes me feel grateful to be apart of what God is doing at that campus. The laughter I share daily with my girl friends, makes me so incredibly thankful to have a family away from family. Between the beauty and the chaos of this life, I'm reminded of the faithful, eternal love of my Heavenly Father... and I am blessed. So so blessed.

With all of that said, I'm so excited about this new chapter. A new place to live. A new roommate. A new neighborhood. And many other new, "I have never thought I would ever do this" opportunities that are about to take place. (Of course, all of which I will blog about!) So stay tuned... because for some reason, I feel like He's just getting started!

smoldering stacks.

2010-07-08T18:33:00.001-05:00

How many times do we get seriously distracted by the "glittery" things in our lives? How many times do we get distracted by the negative things in our lives? How many moments do we just feel distracted? We get discouraged when something doesn't work out our way. And let's face it, anytime there is worry... there is discouragement. We get discouraged when something, someone or some situation keeps us from trusting God. So easily we start trusting our circumstances over God...

Isaiah 7:4 reads :: "Be careful, be quiet, do not fear, and do not let your heart be faint because of these two smoldering stumps of firebrands..."

Ok, so God is speaking to King Ahaz through Isaiah. King Ahaz... not a cool dude. Man, God used Isaiah a WHOLE lot during Ahaz's reign... and Ahaz just wouldn't listen... and definitely didn't catch on. At any rate, there were some other kings that were plotting to come and destroy Judah and kick (let's face it, probably kill) Ahaz. I've gotta be honest, if I were in Ahaz's position, it would be hard for me to trust in God too. But God's just telling him to Stop. Pay attention. Be quiet. Don't worry. I GOT THIS.

You see, God saw these other kings for who they really were. He knew that their plan wouldn't take off... He knew that they wouldn't come in and destroy Judah or Ahaz. Why? Because He's God. He sees all, He knows all. Ahaz saw these two kings like we see a wildfire. He didn't know when they would hit, where they would go, what damage they would do. But God, God saw them as two little stacks of smoldering fire. They wouldn't spread... they wouldn't do any harm. At all. They would just sit there and burn up... maybe put off a little heat, but that would be it.

God wants us to trust Him. It's so hard to do so when all we literally see is a wildfire. I mean, how are we to know what's a wildfire and what's a smoldering stack? Well... lucky for us, God gives us this advice in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 :: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is SEEN, but what is UNSEEN. For what is seen is TEMPORARY and what is unseen is ETERNAL." We aren't meant to see it all... there's no need in us to. That's what we have God for... to trust... and know that He's got this. Jeremiah 29:11 :: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future.

I needed this y'all. I needed to be reminded that God's got this. There's nothing big going on in my life, but I'm waiting for that next step... whatever that is. But, it's great to rest in the fact that all I need to do is

Stop. Pay attention. Be quiet. Don't worry. Trust.

and... maybe I'll even kick at the smoldering stacks, just for fun...

2010-06-11T16:10:00.000-05:00

My, life has been busy lately... but all with great things! Here's a little re-cap.

I turned 29. My big prayer for this year?? That everything I do is an overflow of my love for Jesus. I often find myself doing something out of obligation or because I feel like I should... so I'm really praying on the right state-of-heart. So far, this 29 thing is going pretty well :)
Oh... not to mention that I got to spend my birthday day with these two...

The BIG happening in my family is that we have an additional member! My cousin, Taylor, got married this past week in St. Lucia! He and Kristy wined, dined and showered us with everything from sunscreen to monogrammed beach towels to homemade sugar scrub to personalized trail mix. Here are some of my favorite pics from the trip. Hopefully, I'll get mom and Tresa's pics sometime!!

The newlyweds dancing in the street :)

the runnin' bug.

2010-05-10T12:09:00.008-05:00

I've never been an athlete. I've tried, but the honest truth is that I'm not big on practicing. I've always wished, sometimes even prayed, that I could be really good at sports. But, over the past few years, I've just resolved that watching and being an avid sports fan was just as important as playing sports. And well, I'm really, really good at cheering on my favorite people and teams. :) That is... until 2010...

Back in February, my cousin ran the Austin Half Marathon. Man, did I cheer for him or what?! I take pride in cheering... but I definitely walked away from that event with a little more than I bargained for. I blogged about it, so if you need to see where my inspiration for what's to come then check it out.

At any rate, one of my goals of 2010 is to run a half marathon. This is probably the hardest goal I've EVER set for myself. Why? Because I.don't.run. At one time, a doctor even told me I shouldn't. I used that as my excuse for far too long.

So, as in typical Sarah "I'm just going to dive in" fashion, I started running... on Saturday... at the Chuy's 5K. Yep, no training, no preparation, no eating right... just paid my money and set the alarm. I knew going into it I would be sore. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run all 3.2 miles. I pretty much knew that I would not want to finish. But, I knew that I would finish, despite that little voice telling me to stop... and because my friend, Casey, wouldn't let me quit until we crossed the finish line.

Needless to say, I, Sarah Decker, ran more than I walked! And FINISHED to boot! It was the first hurdle, and I cleared it! Was I pooped? yes. Did my legs feel like jello? yes. Did I devour a Krispy Kreme donut as soon as I crossed the finish line? absolutely. I wasn't in love with running after I finished, but over the past few days of much couch time and rest, I definitely have a desire to try it some more. Good thing... cause I kind of told Casey I would be her running partner...

But, oh my goodness. I am SORE. Pretty sure I may be that runner with a knee brace, ankle brace, heck, even a full body brace before too long. Shin splints?? Yep, haven't had those since high school. Not fun when one lives on the 3rd floor of an apartment. Not.fun.

So, today at lunch, I bit the bullet and I went to RunTex. They watched me walk and jog, analyzed all kinds of stuff about my knees, ankles, arches, shins... surprised they didn't ask to take my blood pressure. I showed them the shoes I was running in and he pretty much back-handed me with his eyes. "Well no wonder! These are THE worst shoes for running." Well sir, I figured as much... and that is why I came to see you!

I did a trade on the worst-shoes-ever and just bought these puppies...
Me... in hot pink running shoes. Never painted myself as a hot pink girl, nor a running girl. But, alas, the shoes have been purchased. It's time to get serious.

No pain, no gain. Tis the story of my life... but oh what an interesting and fun life it is!

it's official. i'm random.

2010-04-27T10:23:00.007-05:00

Some of the random things I've thought about today...
documented for your entertainment or rolling of the eyes...

I'm a calendar freak. I can't have enough calendars. I think I have 4. Naturally, some have events noted that others don't... therefore I'm "caught by surprise" often. 4 calendars don't help... they hinder.

Almost every morning of my sophomore year of high school, I would play "You Gotta Be" by Desree whilst getting ready. Now that was a little ridiculous.

Little known fact... I am a licensed Property and Casualty Insurance agent. I have never used it, and probably never will. But, when the boss tells you to do something, sometimes you have to take one for the team and pass a test you know nothing about. If you have questions about your homeowners policy, you can ask. But, I may not be able to help you.

Linda and I watch a show, that shall remain nameless, that we have dubbed "the shame spiral" show. It's like watching a car crash... we can't stop watching. It should be noted that we no longer watch it because we like the story line... we now watch to purely make fun of every character, every eye glance and every crazy line uttered. It will be missed, as it's in its final season.

I can't say no to TOMS shoes. I go to order some for my cousin, and I end up with a pair myself. This has happened twice... and I'd much rather be barefoot or in flip flops... but at least it's for a good cause.

I JUST realized that my passport may or may not expire before I go to my cousin's wedding at the end of May. Let the panic commence until I get home to check. This will probably freak my mom and aunt out more than me... :)

I'm currently reading about 5 books. This goes against everything in me... but I'm allowing myself to do it. I'm confused at times. Simplify, Decker, simplify.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I have unlimited access to free iTunes. However the fact of the matter is I have no access to anything free in regards to iTunes. I get these charges on my debit card and I'm taken back. I think iTunes should make a VIP club to get free iTunes... I probably wouldn't meet the requirements, but by goodness gracious, it would give me something to strive for...

I've lived in Austin for 5.5 of the last 6.5 years and I'm about to move into my 6th place here. I need to stop moving. It's a wonder how people keep up with me, much less that I actually go "home" to the right place. And I really want an address stamp for longer than a year. Maybe the solution is a PO Box...

One day last Spring, my friend and I went to another church to hear these authors speak. During the praise and worship time, a singer on stage literally jumped OUT of her skirt. Yes, it fell to the ground and then she jumped out of it. She ran off the stage and then came back out. We all cheered. "O Happy Day" will never be the same...

hope in the loneliness.

2010-04-21T11:38:00.004-05:00

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

I was recently reading a chapter in Elisabeth Elliott's Passion & Purity and realized something I didn't like. I'm lonely. A ri-di-cu-lous notion when you a) look at my life and how crazy busy I am and b) know how many amazing people I have in my life that I'm always seeing, talking to or emailing. If anything, I should be the complete opposite of lonely.

At any rate, I'm reading this chapter on loneliness and it just hits me... THIS is what was wrong with me last week that I couldn't pin-point! You see, last week I was in a f.u.n.k. For no reason what-so-ever. I tried to mask it as I didn't feel well... but my heart was telling me that was not the case. I didn't really pray about it... but I did try to trust that God had me right where He wanted me... that I needed to be in this funk in order to really hear Him.

Hear Him, I did. Loneliness is hard. I crave companionship. I desire to be a wife. I desire to be a mom. I would be lying if it wasn't hard to not have those things... because it is.

I love serious relationships. I love putting my all towards someone I care about. And, honestly, I feel like I'm really good at being in a relationship... sometimes I feel like that's when I'm at my best. But, the reason that I feel that way is because that's what I was built for... to be a helpmate... to be a wife... to be a mother. I was made in the image of God... so duh to that. :)

So. I'm lonely. And there's absolutely nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do about it. It's all up to God's Sovereign plan... and His timing. BUT. (There is a but.) I'm totally okay with being lonely right now. In fact, I kind of enjoy it in a non-depressing way. It brings me closer to Jesus. My desire to know him intimately is greater than any other time in my life. He has done... and WILL do great things! He pulls me in and fills me up with the things I need... be it scripture, words of affirmation from others, quotes, hugs from friends, love from my momma and dadd-o, a phone call with laughter, getting "real" with my girls, a song on the radio, a clear blue sky, a cool breeze at night, Texas wildflowers everywhere I look, prayers, weddings, pregnancies, pending adoptions, college retreats, buying new houses... BLESSINGS from Above that bring me joy in my longing. Joy that births hope.

I'm accepting the fact that I'm lonely. But, I'm also accepting the blessings that come with loneliness along the way. I am complete in Christ... He just has to keep reminding my stubborn heart of that. The world tells me that I'm a 29-year old, single girl, but Jesus tells me that there's so much more to life in Him than that. Elisabeth Elliott's advice was to look at the above verse and be thankful. So, I'm choosing to be thankful for this "light and momentary trouble". In everything, give thanks!

I have hope in the loneliness.

I heart Austin

2010-04-19T09:53:00.005-05:00

Ever since I was a child, I've been fascinated by the Texas Capitol. I can remember the first time I walked into it, talked to my mom under the dome and looked at all of the awesome paintings I had seen in my social studies book. (On a side note, I also got my picture by the Statue of Liberty's finger that fell off and was on display... again... fascinated!)

So, when I moved to Austin in 2004, all I wanted was to see the Capitol in my view everyday. I was so excited when I would round the curve onto South 183 and was able to see the spec of the Capitol on a clear day! Then I moved jobs, and got to see it everyday in my rear-view... and then I moved to Dallas.

Two years ago this week (April 21st - Battle of San Jacinto day - to be exact), I moved back to Austin. And I was blessed with a job that is literally blocks away from the Capitol.

I found myself, every morning when I saw it, thanking God for bringing me back to this fantastic city. I smile every time I see it... because it is proof that God answers prayers, that He is sovereign with each little step I take and that I am right where He wants me. When I've had my toughest days, that building helps me to remember to not dwell on what I don't have, but rather the blessings that I do have.

Man, I love Austin...

mags-a-million

2010-04-06T15:44:00.005-05:00

I'm writing this blog with a sad, sad heart. Yesterday afternoon, mom and dad had to put our Maggie girl down. She was 14... literally our dog for 1/2 of my life. She was a great pup... and really didn't lose that "puppiness" until her last days. She had a long, great life... and was the best dog we could've asked for. Maggie was so many things, but at the very least:

a cuddlier
the greeter
the pool lifeguard
gentle & kind
a lap dog
a smiler
a mistaken identity of a cat

Mags was just a great dog. She will be missed.

Maggie Texas-Annabelle Black-Dog Decker

Love Lustres at Calvary

2010-04-06T12:52:00.003-05:00

Over the past few months, my dear, sweet and fun friend, Becca, talked about this book called The Valley of Vision.

After reading many of her tweets, listening to her talk about this book... I finally buckled down and bought it. Man... this book is incredible. It's the kind of book that you can look up just about anything you are feeling or going through and have a prayer to pray or meditation to reflect.

So, it was only fitting that they actually read one of these prayers during the Easter service, whilst I'm sitting next to Miss Becca! I wanted to share it, because it is pow-er-ful. And I've been reflecting on this prayer since Sunday.

Love Lustres at Calvary

MY FATHER,

Enlarge my heart, warm my affections, open my lips,

supply words that proclaim "Love lustres at Calvary'.

There grace removes my burdens and heaps them on thy Son,
made a transgressor, a curse, and sin for me;
There the sword of thy justice smote the man, thy fellow;
There thy infinite attributes were magnified,
and infinite atonement was made;

There infinite punishment was due,

and infinite punishment was endured.

Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,

cast off that I might be brought in,
trodden down as an enemy
that I might be welcomed as a friend,
surrendered to hell's worst
that I might attain heaven's best,
stripped that I might be clothed,
wounded that I might be healed,
athirst that I might drink,
tormented that I might be comforted,
made a shame that I might inherit glory,
entered darkness that I might have eternal light.

My Savior wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes,

groaned that I might have endless song,
endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
bore a thorned crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness,
expired that I might for ever live.

let hope rise and darkness tremble.

2010-03-17T15:36:00.004-05:00

joy. sadness.
hope. fear.
wisdom. uncertainty.

no matter your current situation, this song covers it all.

i can NOT wait to sing along with Hillsong in April.

moved.with.compassion.

2010-03-16T11:38:00.004-05:00

Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, "I am willing; be cleansed."
Mark 1:41

Last Thursday, I needed to spice up my connection time. I fall into routine far too easily, and things sometimes just become a check-list. I hate that. I especially hate it when it comes to spending time with Jesus. So, last Thursday, after doing my normal time in the Word, I decided to flip over to Mark. I needed some Gospel. And, I felt like I needed to give a little time to the one Gospel that is never really talked about... Mark. Ol' Mark needed some love... love I would give.

With hope that the Holy Spirit would jump up and bite me, I read Chapter 1. Man, did the H.S. go to work!!! I journaled over 3 different things that Jesus did in 45 verses that I consistently fail at doing in my 24 hours days. ONE of these 3 hit me the hardest... so I'll share.

moved.with.compassion.

Jesus was about to cure a leper. Something that I so casually read about, but to that leper, to those witnesses... this was HUGE. So, I dive in... and the words "moved with compassion" just stuck with me. Jesus was moved.with.compassion. Come to think of it, Jesus was ALWAYS acting and serving with compassion. However, I'm not always moved, nor am I always compassionate.

I realized that these 3 words: moved, with, compassion all exemplify

community.

moved :: definition - to stir the emotions, feelings, or passions of.
Being moved usually comes from being around someone or something else...

with :: usually used in context of joining 2 or more things together.
I guess my thought process behind this was that we are called to live life with others.

compassion :: definition - sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

So, I started thinking... how often am I really moved by the people and world around me? By the stories of others' struggles? How often am I with that person... most importantly, how often am I interceding for them in prayer? How often do I feel compassion towards others and cease loving me more than them? My answer made my heart hurt... it wasn't what I wanted to see... it only amplified my broken and selfish heart.

Jesus was moved with compassion towards ALL of us... even BEFORE the Cross. It was at the Cross where He laid His life down for us, but before that... He was showing us how WE are to LIVE. And, I humbly admit, I fail miserably every moment of living like Jesus.

I'm reminded of Psalm 139:23-24 and have to remember to ask God the same thing David did ::

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my thoughts; And see if there be any wicked way in me..."

It's my prayer that we, the Body of Christ, become such a reflection of Jesus that we are moved.with.compassion. towards everyone in any situation.

march.

2010-03-10T13:24:00.006-06:00

top 5 reasons why i love

MARCH

5 :: country music
I don't listen to a ton of country music. But, when Spring begins, I'm all about it.
I'm even making a trip (or 2) to Gruene Hall this month!

4 :: SPRING begins!
windows down. flip flops. being outside. hammocks. dogwoods and redbuds. and, of course, some new clothes! here are my recents...

3 :: kites
one of the many reasons I love Austin is the annual Zilker Park Kite Festival.
No doubt that I'll be there on Sunday!

2 :: texas wildflowers
I think the picture speaks for itself.

1 :: March Madness, Baby!!!
I am my mother's daughter. The Big 12 Conference Tourney "the best conference in college basketball this year" is underway today... my Ags play tomorrow. I love love love the Dance. Selection Sunday is this Sunday... let's get this party started!! I am ready to do my picks and just drink up this tourney! I'm so so so so hyped!!
If the Ags go to the Houston Regional, I'm going... no doubt... I'm going.

anything is possible.

2010-02-17T11:57:00.003-06:00

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:10-13

This is Blair. My precious cousin. Blair has Cystic Fibrosis. He coughs, he struggles, but he also ENDURES. He loves, trusts and abides in Jesus. A godly man. And even though he was told differently, he ran his first Half Marathon on Sunday. He won't let CF control his life. He's accepted it. But he won't let it be his identity. His identity is in Christ. He inspires me daily. I'm so proud of him and this incredible accomplishment.

Glorious and majestic are His deeds, His righteousness endures forever! Psalm 100:3

adoption. one.

2010-01-20T09:27:00.006-06:00

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

God has birthed in me a huge desire to adopt. He is steadily, little by little, growing that desire week by week. Besides this calling to adopt, I can narrow down my desire to adopt to 2 reasons:

1. Because I was adopted into God's family. He chose me. I am His, by His grace.
2. I can't bare to think that there are children with no homes.

Simple as that.

So... what does this look like right now?

Well. For one thing, I'm currently working to get out of debt as quickly as possible. God blessed me with a little gift yesterday that will help make that BIG step happen just a little bit sooner! Little steps... but at least I'm stepping!

I guess the other little baby step I've made is signing up to be a Hospital Sitter through Pathways (an adoption agency here in Austin). Basically, if there is a child in the foster system that has to go into the hospital, doesn't have anyone to come and stay with them while they are there, then they will call me (or the other people who have signed up)! Essentially, it's a babysitting job... in a hospital. But, my role is to act as a liaison, on behalf of the child, between the hospital and CPS. It gives me the opportunity to dip my feet into the adoption world pond.

And, I'm praying a LOT more about all of this. I don't think I'll be doing this within the next year, maybe even 2 years... but it's definitely something I would love to do as soon as I'm able. But, it's all in God's timing. I'm praying specifically about:

learning more about what adoption looks like for me,

that He begin preparing my single-girl, do-whatever-I-want heart into that of a mother,

that I begin to love Jesus with all of my heart and love others more than myself,

that this desire to adopt is in line with His plan for me

and that my ideal situation of when, where, how to adopt doesn't become my focus

There's the desire to have a home of my own before I adopt. The desire to adopt domestically through fostering first, and then internationally. There's also the desire, if I'm 100% transparent, to not do this by myself. I'm not afraid of being a single mom. I just never really imagined myself being a single mom. But, I'm really praying for God's perfect timing... and if that happens to be while I'm single, then I will trust and obey... even though it will be scary and probably overwhelming!

Pursuing this is not something I'll take lightly... not even now in just the beginning stages. It will be a huge sacrifice... not only to me, but a lot of people around me. But, after a few conversations I've had recently, I feel like people are really on board with me taking things slowly. And that is extremely humbling that God is opening others eyes to see my heart clearly. It shouldn't surprise me... I mean, He is sovereign and all :)

So... I'll keep all of you posted, updated, etc. I would really appreciate any prayer... that God would just make this path towards adoption clear and in line with Him.

NYE in the NYC!

2010-01-11T14:53:00.002-06:00

New York City on New Years! I can't really explain the trip... it PHENOMENAL! So... here's a slide show of our pics.

The only thing that was left out was that we went to see Shrek on Broadway... it was FABULOUS!

Happy 2010!!!

The recap on Chrimah time in Hen'erson

2010-01-06T09:25:00.005-06:00

Christmas, or Chrimah to most, in Henderson. It's fun... it's busy... but in our own little way.

Here are all the highlights...

The Fleetwood Family Chrimah Party & Gift Exchange
Family friends for years, we all get together one night before Christmas and just hang out. I drove in a little late, but I got there in enough time to play with Miss Meredith McGee (who lives in Nashville). She loves Layla... and Layla is in love with anyone who loves her :)

Christmas Eve Festivities
I started out Christmas Eve by making my annual trip out to see my best friend for the last 20 years, Angie, and her fun piece of pie little girl, Maggie. Last year, for Maggie's 2nd birthday, I gave her a little baby doll. She calls it her "Baby Sarah" and Angie says it's her favorite! (How can you NOT smile about that if you are me?!) At any rate, I brought her a tea set for Baby Sarah... and we just had a ball.

After Church with Jean and Kat, we always go over the Nancy K's. It's so much fun to just spend time with good friends! And then, we go to the Hollands. Sometimes this is the first time I actually see my favorite aunt, uncle and cousins! We don't do gifts... just hang out, watch a movie, have a sandwich... it's all good. Here are my favorite pics from Christmas Eve!

Christmas Day!

We start out Christmas by going to see Katheryn get Santa. It's been our tradition every year since she was 1! She's a sass... as you can see...

We then went to up to the house up the street to have brunch. Art invites all of the neighbors and other people from around town to come in to his awesome house and have brunch! It was really fun to do this... just because you always see someone you haven't seen in forever!

The family came over Christmas afternoon. We really missed Taylor and Kristy (but we'll have Christmas with them in a few weeks!), but we had a great time opening gifts and eating dinner!

December 26th
And last but not least, the annual Chrimah Light Honkin' trip. Every year, me and these 3 girls go rate Christmas lights with honks. We give out one 5 honker a year. We waited too late... usually we go before Christmas around 7:30 or 8. We went the day after Christmas at 9:30. People in Henderson turn off their lights at 10... which is just ridiculous. We didn't really even give out our 5 honker, because hardly ANYONE had lights up! We were highly discouraged... but still had a blast!

We twirled under the mini-Zilker Park tree, honked at this 4-honker and got some GREAT quotes for the quote book!

It was a GREAT Christmas! I am so blessed by my family and friends... both in Henderson and all over the state! But, even more blessed by the Grace that was poured out on me through Jesus! Happy belated Birthday Jesus!

2010 - Year of DIY

2010-01-04T16:32:00.003-06:00

Just like my friend Lauren, I'm not in to making New Year's Resolutions. I don't think I've ever met a person that has ever kept all of their resolutions from January 1st. I set goals. I can achieve goals... "I got this" goals. So, the past few years, I've tried to write down weekly, monthly and yearly goals. I also tend to come up with a theme for the year. In the past, my friends have had: 2007 - turning to Heaven, 2008 - the year of the mate (yeah, that didn't happen for any of us!), among others. This year has been deemed 2010 - the year of DIY. Do-it-yourself. Yes, I plan on getting crafty. Yes, I plan on being more creative. But I'm also lumping into the DIY category of just really relying on myself (and Jesus, of course) to hold me accountable and also all of these things are up to ME to acheive.

I'm just gonna go ahead and brainstorm/document/advertise my goals here and NOW.

Weekly goals for 2010

Have a daily connection time in prayer and in the Word
Thank God for where He has me in that day
Read every day
Limit the trips to Starbucks to twice/week
Work out in some way, shape or form at least 3 times/week

Monthly goals for 2010

Stay within my monthly budget for eating out
Really clean my apartment every other week
Do something nice & out-of-the-ordinary for someone
Share the Gospel - this one is gonna be hard for me
Write Woliya (my World Vision kiddo) a letter

2010 Overall Goals

Finally, 2010 get out of debt!!!
Train and compete in a Sprint Triathlon
Take a photography class (signed up today!)
Learn how to use my sewing machine
Focus on God's plan and not my own

Ok... they are out there now... Now I HAVE to do them! :)

Christmas and New Year's reviews will be here this week! I can't wait to share with you!!

Modge Podge of a Blog...

2009-12-21T10:03:00.006-06:00

So I have been horrible about blogging as of late. Not to say that there hasn't been a TON of things going on... because their has been! Gonna try to make this re-cap short and sweet, but let's face it... my name is Sarah Decker... and I like to tell stories... so don't get your hopes up on the short & sweet.

Baby Jake!

My best friend and soul sista, Beth (Rosamond) Emerson had her precious baby boy, Jacob Cole, in the wee hours of the morning on November 19th! I made a mad dash to San Antonio at 6:30am to get to see my new nephew and his beaming parents!

When I got there, Beth and Jordan were totally surprised and we had about an hour with just the 3 of us to talk about all of the funny stories that led up to Mr. Jake's arrival. And then, I had the absolute privilege of being in the room when they were re-introduced to their baby boy for the first time. (He had been in the nursery having tests run since about an hour after he was born.) Then the fun began! It was the most surreal moment for me, to see my two great friends literally become parents in front of my eyes. Beth and I shared tons of moments and laughs that included the statement "it's not about me anymore!" J and I had a moment where we both realized how unequipped we were. Even though I'm not a parent, it was just awesome to share these first few moments with the Emerson's as a family. Here are some of my fav pics from that morning!

Rubey's 30th!

One of my dear sweet best friends, Melissa Rubey, turned 30 in November! Her parents threw a fun party at this incredible restaurant, The Paggi House. It was fun to meet new people and celebrate my friend in a big, BIG way!

Thanksgiving 2009

Made it home for Thanksgiving this year! What a blessing to actually have the day after Thanksgiving off!! Our days were filled with relaxing, Mah Jong, football and basketball. One word: perfection.

We had a small Thanksgiving this year, but it was great! Jean and Kat came over and we had a blast!

Moms and Daughters

My lil' sis

Me and Granny Grace

Dad shooting at buzzards and Layla getting HYPED

CAE Exam

The week after Thanksgiving, I had to hit the books. My friend, Julie, and I decided to take the "Certified Association Executive" test this fall. So, we've been going to study groups every Wednesday for 10 weeks to prepare for this exam. The test was on Friday, December 4th. It.was.hard. Thanks to all of my friends and family who I totally neglected that week to study... and thank you for your prayers! We should get the results back in late January.

Linda's 30th Birthday!

Linda turned 30 on December 7th! We held off the festivities until the weekend after her bday... and man, was it a blast! We had a slumber party, old school style, at the apartment on Friday night. (I have pics, but don't have my camera to upload them... so just wait for those) We had pizza, desserts, pinata, dance party, glow sticks, laughs and good times.

And everything else...

I've been extremely busy with work... traveling quite a bit, but I don't complain because I love love love my job! I've also had Christmas parties, dinners, gatherings galore. It's all been in great fun... but I have YET to finish my Christmas shopping... which is totally unlike me!

God has blessed me beyond measure, and I'm continuously blown away by his sovereignty. 2009 has been a year of healing, learning and surrendering. I've also made the most wonderful friends in Austin that lift my spirits and keep me smiling. College ministry has been one of the most humbling, amazing things I have ever done, and I so look forward to what the Lord will do at UT in 2010.

I guess I want to leave you with this:

As we approach Christmas, really let it soak in how much God loves you. If not for anything else but the fact that He kept His promise... and He delivered all of us out of darkness through His Son! The birth of Christ is just God saying, "see... I told you I would!" If anything, it's an encouragement!

Also, I've been really meditating on who God chose to reveal His Good News of Christ's birth. Shephards and 3 wise men. Shephards were the lowest of low in the society of that time. But, God saw them as worthy, and made a huge display with the angels! Could you imagine the humility that those guys felt?! And then there were the 3 wise men. These guys were astrologers... they were ubber smart, and kings looked to them for advice. How interesting that God chose 3 men that the most powerful men at that time would actually listen to. So cool to see how God uses people: their places, their influences, their passions, their lives to reveal His glory.

I promise that I'll be updating soon. I have lots of fun events planned in Henderson for Chrimah and then NYC for New Years! I can't wait to celebrate with my family... and celebrate with my God on his fulfilled promise of Christ! I'm ready for Him to come back!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

11.18.1999 - my story.

2009-11-17T23:55:00.003-06:00

I realized tonight that the point of a blog is to share. I’ve done some good sharing, but never really told a story. A true story. An experience that changed my life. So, I’m taking the 10 year anniversary of the single greatest tragedy at Texas A&M to share my story of that day. By no means am I trying to compare my experience with anyone who was injured, was actually there, working on Bonfire, or anything like that. I was just merely a freshman, that didn’t work on Bonfire, that was a new Aggie, and a girl that lost a good friend.

To be honest, it wasn’t until after I read the recent article about Aggie Bonfire in Texas Monthly that it really began to get to me that those of us that were there when Bonfire fell never talked about it. None of us shared our story. It was almost like it was the surreal thing that we were just all trying to get through. We didn’t want to forget, by any means, but we just needed to move forward. And I think, in part, at least for me, it was because we wanted to do what we felt like our friends that we lost would want us to do.

But, I realize now that we kind of dropped the ball. Because we didn’t pass on those first-hand accounts… our experience, whether we were there, whether we weren’t, whether we knew one of the victims or injured, or not. The next classes after us lost out on what Bonfire meant to us, personally.

So. This is my story.

November 18, 1999

I lived in Mosher dorm, and if you looked out of my window, through the limbs of a big oak tree, you could see Bonfire standing tall. I was not a Bonfire girl. I was the last person to volunteer to wake up at 4am on a Saturday morning to go into a forest to chop down trees. I was excited about Bonfire. But, I really didn’t have the desire to work on it.

I had a calculus test at 8am on November 18^th. So, naturally I was attempting an all-nighter the night before. My family had called me around 11:30 that night to tell me about the meteor shower that was going to happen around 2am. They were all going to go check it out and thought that I may want to go watch it somewhere in College Station. I had every intention of staying up to study, so I thought it’d be a good idea to head over to the O&M building and try to get into the observation deck to watch it. I’m thankful now that I didn’t, because the O&M building observation deck overlooks the Polo Fields, where Bonfire was being built. Had I not fallen asleep, I may have seen it fall.

My roommate, Leah, and I were asleep when our suitemates bursted into our room at 4:30 on the morning of November 18^th and said, “Bonfire fell and a bunch of people are dead.” They were heading down to the sight to see what dorms and Corp squads were supposed to be working on it on that shift. I immediately listed off a list, “check to see if Off-Campus Ags, Dunn or FHK were there!” I had 3 good friends from home that I knew were working on Bonfire. 1 guy and 2 girls. I immediately got really worried. Leah turned on our little TV and they had a live video feed on the A&M station at the sight. There were no words. Just the live video. I remember it being haunting. We just sat there and watched. We prayed and watched.

At 6am, I knew my dad would be getting up, and learning of the news. So, I called home. Not to say that I was okay, because my parents knew better to question if I was at the sight. But, I called to have them check call the parents of Katie McCrady, John Pool and Jamie Hand. Leah went on to class to see if they were cancelling classes or not, and I just waited. It wasn’t too long after I got off of the phone that my mom called me back. I was in the bathroom. I remember her saying that she called the Hand’s house to check on Jamie and that Kristen, Jamie’s sister who was a year younger than us, answered the phone. That Kristen told my mom that they couldn’t find Jamie and that Mr. & Mrs. Hand were on their way to College Station. At this point, I fell to the ground and started crying. When my mom said, “We are on our way.” I just remember saying, “ok.” My mom told me later that she knew that I needed them at that time… that I didn’t try to turn them away or tell them not to worry… which had been my response to them so many times before. After I got off the phone, I called Rachael Jacob, my other good friend from high school that was also at A&M. We made plans to meet up at a certain time and she would go with me and my parents to find the Hands. I then called my best friend, Brooke. Brooke lived in College Station too, but had gone home to Henderson early for the weekend. So, I told her what was going on and just let her know I would keep her up-to-date as much as I could. I remember really wishing that she hadn’t had already left…

It turns out that I had the spawn of satan as my calculus instructor. Leah came back to tell me that my class was still meeting and it looked like everyone was taking their test. So, livid, I went to class. I sat down and literally filled in A-B-C-D-E on each line of the scantron. I will never forget when the Corp guy came in. He had on his Bonfire working gear, completely covered in dirt. The prof made him sit down to take his test. This is when the already livid East Texas girl became even more livid. Feisty Sarah came out in full force. I marched down to the prof and told him that I thought he was horrible for making us take the test… that obviously there were a lot of questions on our minds that weren’t calculus related. And then I said it for the first time, “And my dear friend is missing, we don’t know if she’s dead or alive. So, screw your test and we WILL be getting a make-up exam.” I turned around and stomped out. That was the last time I would feel good for a while…

By that time, my parents were in town and Rachael and I met up. {I guess I should first explain the relationship my parents had with Jamie. Jamie was my absolute best friend in the whole world for about 3 years. She literally spent almost every weekend at my house. My parents adored her, as they did all of my girlfriends in High School. They treated, and still treat, my friends as if they were their own. Even after Jamie and I drifted a little, we were still really good friends. She could light up the room with her smile and we all just adored her. So, my parents were coming for me, but they were also coming for the Hands and for all of the other friends that would just need a momma or daddy to hug on them.} We found the Hand’s, Jamie’s oldest sister – Shelly and her husband, Jake Fears (a good friend that was a sophomore), Holly Christian (a girl from Henderson that was older, but working at A&M) and some other friends of the Hands that were from Henderson. They were all at the MSC, at the information room for any family or friends trying to find out about certain people. They had no word on Jamie, except that someone thought they saw her get into an ambulance. So, they told us to go to College Station Medical Center. Thus began the longest day of my life…

We got to CSMC to find that they had no word on Jamie. She hadn’t been admitted there… we were told to go try St. Joesph’s in Bryan. I have no idea what time all of this was going down, but I just remember that time stood still. So, with the help of Holly (cause none of us students knew where anything was in Bryan), we caravanned to Bryan. I remember St. Joe’s being a lot more chaotic than CSMC. They actually had a huge waiting room specifically for Bonfire, and it was packed. Again, no word on Jamie. And, looking back on it, I wouldn’t have wanted their jobs for anything… they were just as in shock as all of us. They told us to wait in the waiting room and they would try to find out anything they could.

I remember that Rachael and I kind of walked off from the group. I have no idea why, but when we did… we saw a girl sitting by herself, she had been crying and she had an FHK dorm hat on. FHK was Jamie’s dorm. We asked her if she knew anything about Jamie Hand. The girl said, “Are you here with her family? I’ve been waiting for them.” We immediately grabbed Shelly’s husband and she proceeded to tell us that someone had thought they saw her get into an ambulance. But, Jamie had recently gone back to her natural hair color (brown) from being a blonde. The girl they saw was blonde… She then said that Jamie wasn’t there and that they couldn’t figure out where she would be. After the story was told to the hospital staff and the Hand’s, we were told that our answers would be at the stack.

That was the first time I had gone out there. It was afternoon by this point… I think around 2:00. It was crazy. Surreal and just crazy. People were everywhere. People were just there watching and waiting. The Hand’s were ushered off to a private waiting room, so mom, dad, Rachael and I just sat down on some logs. At some point, my dear friends, Justin Hobbs, Josh Hoover and Kent Evans showed up to wait with us. I didn’t know it then, but those 3 guys would be instrumental in helping me get through the rest of my freshman year and dealing with what was about to happen.

Katie McCrady found us too. She had worked on stack on the shift before the fall, but had come back out to help. They were only allowing certain students, mainly those that had worked on stack, to help lift logs. I realized after reading the Texas Monthly article that it was like a huge, multi-ton heavy Jenga game. One wrong move of one log, and many more people could have been hurt. Also, the logs were all twinned together with wire… so you couldn’t just pick them up… there was a process to lift every single log off to get to those that were trapped. I remember someone coming over an intercom asking everyone to be quiet, that they were dropping down a microphone into stack to see if they could hear anyone. You could have heard a pin drop. I remember holding my breath… just praying that there was a sound. I don’t think at that time I knew how many people they had found dead.

At the insistence of Hobbs, we left my parents at our “post” and went for a walk. We were talking to someone, when all of a sudden the crowd fell silent again, but this time, you could hear a shift of body position. Everyone was turning to face stack. It was the most eerie sound I have ever heard, and I can’t even explain what came over me. But, I looked at Rachael and said, “we need to get back.”

As we walked back over to where my parents were stationed, my dad was sitting there, cradling Katie. She was sobbing uncontrollably. My dad was just rocking her. My mom was nowhere to be seen. Katie looked at me and just said, “Sarah, she’s gone.” Rachael started crying and I just stood there. I was in absolute shock. I wanted to go to the Hand’s. I started walking towards their trailer, and met my mom on her way back. She was crying really hard and just told me that I didn’t need to go see them just yet. She walked back with me, and I just remember saying, “I need my cell phone.”

In 1999, the cell phone coverage anywhere really wasn’t all that great. The lines had been clogged all day long, and we had only been able to make or receive a small handful of calls all day. I had gone back to my dorm before going out to the sight and gotten a list of messages that Leah had been taking for me while we were hospital jumping. At any rate, I grabbed my phone and proceeded to make calls to friends from home. I will never forget walking away from sight, sitting on the ground with no one around, and having to call some of my dearest friend to tell them that our friend had died. It was, to date, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

My parents were trying to get me to go home with them that night. But, I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. I knew that when I got home, I was going to be asked about what happened that day… and I wasn’t ready to re-live it. I needed some time. I worked it out to ride home with a few people the next day. I got back to my dorm, Leah was gone, and I just sat on the bed… and stared into space. I was in absolute, total shock. I still hadn’t cried. Hobbs called me, and after somewhat of an insistent argument on his part, he talked to me into packing an overnight bag and he was on his way to pick me up. He had promised my parents that he would take care of me, and he wasn’t going to fall through.

I got to Hobbs and Josh’s house and I just remember being sandwiched between them on the couch, watching the news. I think that was the first time I realized that 11 people had died. And I just couldn’t believe that one of my friends was one of those 11.

I went into Hobbs’ room to sleep. We talked for a while, and he told me that I should call Brooke. He shut the door as he left, I called Brooke… and as soon as I started talking to her, I lost it. I finally started mourning my friend. I’m still a little baffled as to why it took me so long. When I was hanging up with Brooke, she told me that if I didn’t get up and get Hobbs’ to hug me she would kick my butt the next day. So, I did. And I cried even more. Josh was outside on the porch strumming his guitar… and it turns out he wrote a song about what I went through that night. It’s still so special to hear that song.

After I got home the next day, Brooke was at my house waiting on me. Mom, Brooke, our friend – Hayley and I went over to the Hands’. I don’t remember much from being there, but I remember telling Mrs. Hand about how Jamie made signs that said “Bonfire or Bust” on the way down to the ’98 Bonfire during our senior year of high school. And that I just couldn’t help but have peace over the fact that she died doing something she absolutely loved. When we got in the car, I remember my mom saying something about how proud she was of me and just the comforting things I had said to Mrs. Hand. I see so clearly now that the Lord has definitely blessed me with a spiritual gift of comforting others. Because, that was all God speaking through me.

I remember our group of friends (which probably totaled our entire senior class) just spent every minute we could together during that time. We had all grown up with each other, and Jamie was the first friend we had lost… that we could really grasp. We all just didn’t know what to do. The funeral was a daze. It was all a daze… for all of us.

I didn’t go back to College Station until Thanksgiving afternoon. I had gotten Taylor and Blair UT tickets with me in the student section a month or so before, and mom, dad, Tresa and Neal had gotten tickets too… so we had already planned on going down to Bonfire and to the game. But, instead of Bonfire, we had a candlelight vigil at the sight. I just remember the sea, literal sea, of candlelight. And, then the whole crowd began to walk to Kyle Field for Midnight Yell. I don’t remember much about that Yell Practice… but I remember the 12 cannon shots that were fired. Riveting. There wasn’t a dry eye in the entire place.

The next day was the game. Before the game began, they released 12 white doves from the field. Blair, who was 11 at the time, and Taylor, who was 17, just hugged me so tight. It was one of the most precious moments I think I’ve ever shared with them. I was so grateful to have them there with me at that game. At halftime, the UT band was unbelievable. They played “Amazing Grace” and just played the most respectful and appropriate halftime show they could have. Then the Aggie Band just carried the torch. I get chills even now just thinking about it. And, then… we won. We won. I cry every time I think about that win. It was so much more than just winning a game, it was a glimmer of hope, a little light in the darkness that we had all been in, it gave us all something to smile about. I know that God is in all things… and God was definitely in that win on that Friday in November.

When I got back to school after Thanksgiving, I had an extremely hard time. I just struggled with her death. Not with God… I don’t think I asked why… but I just kept on thinking I would wake up from the dream I was living in. Looking back on it, I was just surrounded by it everywhere I turned. If I was at A&M, I was surrounded by the reminders… If I went home, I was surrounded by reminders. I just didn’t have an escape from it. But, I see now that God didn’t want me to escape from it. I had to face it, had to deal with the discomfort. My relationship with Him definitely grew because of Bonfire. Breakaway on Tuesday nights became my safe-haven. I could stand in the back there and cry, I felt surrounded by God’s love in that place… and I didn’t want to miss that. The very first Breakaway after Thanksgiving, we sang “Shout to the Lord”. I remember the line “the mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of Your Name” absolutely broke me. It just made me realize that the God of Heaven and earth, the God that had made Jamie had taken her away. He had a much better plan for her than she or anyone else had for her. Basically, it just hit me that we all live for Him, we all exist for Him, and He chooses our next steps.

“My Jesus, my Savior. Lord, there is none like You. All of my days, I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love. My Comfort, my Shelter. Tower of Refuge and Strength. Let every breath with all that I am, never cease to worship You! Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing. Power and Majesty, Praise to the King! The mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of Your Name! I sing for joy at the work of Your Hands, forever I’ll love You, forever I stand. Nothing compares to the promise I have in You!”

Ten years after the fact, I think about Jamie a lot. I wonder what she would have accomplished by now if she were still here. The girl was destined for huge things. She always wanted to be famous, but in a way, she is. Her signature, her portrait, her story is forever embedded in Aggieland at the Bonfire Memorial… but also in Aggie history. With a school that is so incredibly rich in tradition and its history, my dear, sweet friend, our Jamie, will never be forgotten.

So... if you are still reading, that's my story. One of a million experiences from that day. One this day, I pray for the families and friends of those that lost someone they loved. I pray for those that worked on Bonfire, whether injured or not. I pray for Aggieland. And I pray for God to guide the A&M administration with His wisdom on whether or not to bring Bonfire back to campus.

Aggieland. How I love thee...

2009-11-06T09:57:00.009-06:00

I confess. I'm ridiculous. I haven't blogged in a VERY long time. But frankly, I have absolutely NO idea where the month of October went. We have a dry-erase calendar in our apartment, and it still reads September.

Do you remember the days when you were a kid and you couldn't WAIT for that slumber party with your best friends? All day at school, you all would just be so excited that you were just anticipating the bell to ring for the end of class, just so you were one class closer to getting the party started? Well... I had a "grown-up" one of those days last Friday! It was the 5th Annual Brew-B-Que at Aggieland! And almost all of my favorite Aggies were going to be in attendance. I could not wait to get on the road.

My summary of the entire weekend is below:

BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS weather
"I threw it on the grroooouuuund!!"
Fitzwilly's hamburger. Delicious.
Josh Hoover... live and in concert
Impromptu Karaoke Training
Late night Taco C
BShaw and the Great Vat of Cheese
Best laugh of 2009
4am Bedtime
-----------------------------
must.have.Starbucks.
Surprise! Mo (Melissa) Cox is in the house!!
Campus... ahhh warm fuzzy heart
New massive Aggie Ring photo ops

Brew-B-Que Tailgate!!
J-Hey and the man beard
pictures.

pictures.

pictures.

Corner Bar - Rooftop Bar for the game.
Wings-N-More... yummm delish
Aggies Win!!
Bshaw doing the limbo

Cafe Excel for a "grown up" dinner
"Do you know the difference between spots and balls?"
Northgate fun.
Almost killing Linda... not on purpose though.
"Do you like Mariah Carey??"
bed.
-----------------------------
wake up call from our favorite Brew-B-Que guy friends.
Brunch at the Bodega

Mom & Dad stop by with... Layla!!!
reunited with my dog = awesome.
Save the Date pics for Ber & Billy Bob
must.have.Starbucks.
rehash all the fun stories on the way home.

One another Aggie note, if you haven't read the incredible article in Texas Monthly about the Aggie Bonfire, you are missing out. It makes me proud to be an Aggie, it brought me to tears, but it was a good reminder of how much I've grown-learned-changed because of that November day 10 years ago. Click HERE for the article.

I can not express the pure joy I had from a weekend with great friends. God keeps reminding me of his incredible blessings through my friendships.... both old and new. And I am truly blessed to have gone to such an amazing school, with incredible people. Aggieland is just good for my soul sometimes. I love that place... it's like my home away from home home.

"There's a spirit can ne'er be told, it's the Spirit of Aggieland!"

lesson learned... well, still in progress...

2009-09-23T09:12:00.009-05:00

I'm a blogger. But, I haven't been that good at blogging as of late. I have to confess that it's because I really want to write about a topic and I'm apprehensive to do so. It's nothing earth shattering, but just something that God has been teaching me over the last year... but I didn't really get it until a few months ago. My lesson can be summed up in one word:

SURRENDER

I like to be in control. I like to know what's going on. I like to prepare myself for situations that may or may not occur... just because I don't want to be caught off guard or shocked. I like to prepare myself for the worst, because for many times in my life, the other shoe does eventually drop. I guess you say I like to build up my walls... I like walls. Walls are safe, walls are comfort, walls are supposed to be strong.

Around this time last year was the first time I really felt like I had to surrender someone I loved. I felt the Lord telling me to trust Him, so I obeyed. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but there was something about knowing that God was in control that brought some peace amongst the chaos in my mind and heart. A few months later, my Granny went Home. And I had to surrender to the Lord for that as well. She was a woman of deep faith, a woman that I would share my heart with and the Lord spoke to me through her. So, when we lost her, I was a little lost too.

Winter/Spring of 09 was chaotic. I've told many people that I had too many toes in too many pools. I was stretching myself in so many different ways, just trying to fill voids and hurts, when all I was doing was avoiding "the surrender". Finally, this Summer, when things kind of came to a stand-still for a bit, the Lord led me out of my comfort zone... and this is where I started putting it all together :)

I truly believe my mission field is in the college ministry... specifically UT. (I know, funny that this Aggie has a heart for the Horns! But I firmly believe that God has one heck of a sense of humor!) I also have a heart for discipleship. So, I had this desire to do this with college women. I was asked to co-develop a college womens class at the Stone (my Church)... so I eagerly accepted. But, then they asked me to take a Teaching Lab to learn teaching styles, the different areas that need to be addressed while teaching, etc. I was a Speech Communications major at A&M, but only had to take one public speaking class. It was the one class I hated. I can talk about things I'm passionate about until I blue in the face, but don't ask me to come up with talking points, write them out and then make an outline, thesis statement and all that jazz... that's just not my style. So, I knew this about myself, but I also knew that this class is something I really felt like I was supposed to do. The class took me out of my comfort zone. The class challenged me to do something totally different. The class made me face some personal fears. But the most important lesson I learned was that I had to surrender. I had to surrender to the Lord... because I felt like it was Him urging me to do it. It was extremely difficult. I had a lot of spiritual warfare going on in my life during this class... oddly on the weeks that I had to prepare my lessons. But it was because I felt this battle that the Enemy was waging against me that I knew God had me right where He wanted me. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about the Sovereignty of God. I learned a lot about truly surrendering... letting go and letting God do His thing.

Since the end of my class, I'm constantly seeing how God is calling me, even in the small, daily struggles, to surrender to Him. The first few weeks of September were difficult weeks to face for my family and our close friends. And no matter how much I wanted to "do" something, I just felt like I was supposed to surrender my fears and worries. So, I've been praying... and trusting...

So often I feel like we ask God for strength, because we want to get through something. I kind of feel like in my case, it's because I didn't ever want to surrender everything to Him. But, someone recently pointed out to me that the Bible doesn't say "Lord, give me strength"... it says "The Lord IS my strength". To me, surrendering is just saying, "God, I trust You. I trust Your plan. I'm just going to lean on You so you can show me my next step. I know You'll hold me up." He always does. He never fails. Even when we don't get what we want, He doesn't fail.

If you are still reading, I hope that you are encouraged to surrender. It's totally scary not to know what's next, to keep from building up the walls in my heart... but I know that the trials I face, whether large or small, are all for the glory of God. And I know that His love is steadfast and merciful... and that's an awesome thing :)

And it's so fitting and very much a God-thing that the "verse of the day" is Romans 5:3-5. I read this verse literally on Saturday and I feel like it totally applies to this whole surrender - let go - let God thing I have going on now :) ...

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

For your enjoyment...

2009-08-24T10:49:00.004-05:00

I feel like a LOT of people have been sending me hilarious YouTube videos lately... so I'll share a few of them here without sending mass emails... :)

Will use these guys the next time I need a website...

An oldie, but goodie...

I want to find a man who will love me enough to do this at our wedding...

They love Jesus, but I don't get it...

And my absolute FAVORITE...

On another note, check out my friend's blog today... I cried I was laughing so hard.

Hope these provide a good little Monday laugh!

I know, I'm a little late... but here's my Twilight Series review...

2009-07-29T11:35:00.009-05:00

SPOILER ALERT - If you are planning on reading the Twilight Series, don't read any further... I'm about to reveal all of the mysteries...

So, Linda and I decided a few months back that we would give in and watch the Twilight movie. Just to see what it was all about. Well, we liked it. She immediately decided that she wanted to read the books, and I just thought I'd pull another Harry Potter trick and just wait for all the movies to find out what happened. That lasted all of 2 months...

I found out that my mom, good ol' Pauls, has in fact read all of the Twilight series. She wanted to find out about what all of her 4th graders were reading. (This is an important fact that I will be coming back to later in this post.) And then, I find out that my friend at work, Julz, was reading it. Julz' excitement about this series was nothing short of mesmorizing and addicting. So, I bit the bullet and started reading...

Here are my short & sweet reviews...
Twilight. It was good. Sets the stage for the love of Bella and Edward... cool. Not much in here that I was thinking "WOAH! Easy there Stephenie Meyer"... but definitely a better read than the movie... +1 Point Stephenie Meyer

New Moon. Well hello there darkness. I mean... dang, talk about tugging at the heart strings. The break-up between Bella and Edward about did me in. I was crying... just because I couldn't help but see that Stephenie Meyer HAD to have drawn off of personal experiences to be able to write about what losing a love feels like. And then you have Bella wanting to be "friends" with Jacob... and I'm practically screaming at my book saying "You're doing that to avoid your feelings!! You aren't facing life and your broken heart!" And then I had to calm myself down by saying, she's only 18... she just doesn't know.

But, there is a BUT... my mom told me that her 4th graders were reading these books. So, I tried to look through the eyes of a young person, and I have to say... I really didn't like what I saw! I mean, as adults, we know that having a broken heart literally makes you want to lay in the middle of the woods and die. But, in reality, we don't. We get up the next day, we go to work and we deal. We turn to God for peace, we seek His wisdom and we endure. Lying in the woods is what we feel but it's not what we do. But, to a younger person reading these books... that's going to be what they think they should do when they have a broken heart... no matter what the cause! Ok... I'm getting off of my soap box... -5 points Stephenie Meyer (I was on a soap box... that constitutes getting major points off)

Eclipse. This one has been my favorite of the series. Jacob and Edward become "friends". Teamwork at it's best. Killing crazy Victoria. And Edward telling ol' Bells that he won't do it with her unless they are married. (That's a good message to the kiddos!) Engagement rings. Saving Seattle. It's just filled with a bunch of vampire-werewolf-human goodness. +3 Points Stephenie Meyer

Breaking Dawn. Oh my. I have to be honest and say that I haven't finished this one yet. But, it's a struggle. The good things: Bella and Edward get married, Bella doesn't die when they do it, they have an extra long honeymoon, Bella becomes a vampire but not a "normal" new-blood vampire, Bella finds out her special vampire power - "shielding". The crazy, outrageous "this is a stretch" things: ol' Bells getting preggo?? REALLY Steph?? Tell me... how does that work?? Edward is dead. He has no beating heart. He only drinks animal blood. How, in anyone's imagination, would he have sperm to impregnate Bells? (Yes, probably the last time any of you will read the word "sperm" on my blog... but it had to be said. Sorry Dad.) It does not make sense... even in the world of fiction. I know... vampires, werewolves, half-breeds... it all doesn't make sense. But REALLY?! I mean, I know that it's because she has a baby that Bella gets to become a vampire, but what about an accidental biting or something like that? Arg. If all of this could have been believable, she lost me at preggers. -4 points Stephenie Meyers

So...another outrageous thing - Jacob "imprinting" on Renesmee. That.is.creepy. I don't care if the kid is growing like a chia pet... and she'll be old enough for him to date in 3 weeks. This is a strrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeetch. -1 point Stephenie Meyers

And lastly, really? Renesmee? I know she's trying to put both mom's in one name... but that is the dumbest name I've heard in a while. I am personally glad when they refer to her as Nessie, because that's a little more bearable. -.5 points Stephenie Meyers

I'm sad to say, but I just can't get through the last book. It is a struggle for me. And I guess I keep on imagining the Bella from the movie and I'm thinking "she is going to be HORRIBLE in the Breaking Dawn movie!" Pretty sure it will be painful (not in a heart-breaking way) thing to watch.

In conclusion, I like the Twilight series. Even though I don't agree with or understand some of the crazy things that are written. If I can be allowed to put on my "future mom" hat, I'm pretty sure my kids won't be allowed to read these books until after they turn 16... ok maybe 18. I feel like kids need to live through life a little to be able to look at this as a work of fiction and not something to help you live in a whimsical dreamworld. Needless to say, the series is a fun read for adults who know the difference between good fiction and reality.

But, don't worry that I downloaded the soundtrack... and two of those songs just happen to be two of my ringtones. It's a good soundtrack, don't judge! Annnnd... also don't worry that Linda has bought the movie and we are constantly excited to watch it. Annnnd... I'm ready to see New Moon.

I like the books... just don't go buying me Twilight t-shirts or sheets for my bed...

just a small town girl...

adios 2011. HOLA 2012!!!

so funny thing...

watch for the Light

beinganaggieispainful

my reaction to the penn state scandal

FIVEOEIGHT

practice... i don't like practice...

man o' man

pinterest projects!! eek!

pinterest challenge update

ohhh giddy goodness!

is it weird...

new favorites.

what I'm wearing today... minus the DREAM necklace :)

the spirit of reconciliation.

The Ministry of Reconciliation - 2 Corinthians 5:11-21

worn out and thankful

my favorite color is black. just kidding.

happy girl.

it is written.

indeed. that is a true statement.

hi. i'm a grown up now.

heart full of joy and tears in my eyes

sometimes, life is hard.

nothing short of a personality.

i like new things.

How He Loves

the year in review.

the long awaited post...

hello. random speaking.

the we lessons.

welp...

this just in...

peace out, glutten.

lowe's is about to be my new friend.

mountains.

the feeling or the know :: part deux

the feeling or the know :: part 1

pulling a fast one...

blind.

No-10

yummmm

Bring it on... line...

the pits.

apartment 731 :: journey from then to now

smoldering stacks.

the runnin' bug.

it's official. i'm random.

hope in the loneliness.

I *heart* Austin

mags-a-million

Love Lustres at Calvary

let hope rise and darkness tremble.

moved.with.compassion.

march.

anything is possible.

adoption. one.

NYE in the NYC!

The recap on Chrimah time in Hen'erson

2010 - Year of DIY

Modge Podge of a Blog...

11.18.1999 - my story.

Aggieland. How I love thee...

lesson learned... well, still in progress...

For your enjoyment...

I know, I'm a little late... but here's my Twilight Series review...

I heart Austin