For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
I was recently reading a chapter in Elisabeth Elliott's Passion & Purity and realized something I didn't like. I'm lonely. A ri-di-cu-lous notion when you a) look at my life and how crazy busy I am and b) know how many amazing people I have in my life that I'm always seeing, talking to or emailing. If anything, I should be the complete opposite of lonely.
At any rate, I'm reading this chapter on loneliness and it just hits me... THIS is what was wrong with me last week that I couldn't pin-point! You see, last week I was in a f.u.n.k. For no reason what-so-ever. I tried to mask it as I didn't feel well... but my heart was telling me that was not the case. I didn't really pray about it... but I did try to trust that God had me right where He wanted me... that I needed to be in this funk in order to really hear Him.
Hear Him, I did. Loneliness is hard. I crave companionship. I desire to be a wife. I desire to be a mom. I would be lying if it wasn't hard to not have those things... because it is.
I love serious relationships. I love putting my all towards someone I care about. And, honestly, I feel like I'm really good at being in a relationship... sometimes I feel like that's when I'm at my best. But, the reason that I feel that way is because that's what I was built for... to be a helpmate... to be a wife... to be a mother. I was made in the image of God... so duh to that. :)
So. I'm lonely. And there's absolutely nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do about it. It's all up to God's Sovereign plan... and His timing. BUT. (There is a but.) I'm totally okay with being lonely right now. In fact, I kind of enjoy it in a non-depressing way. It brings me closer to Jesus. My desire to know him intimately is greater than any other time in my life. He has done... and WILL do great things! He pulls me in and fills me up with the things I need... be it scripture, words of affirmation from others, quotes, hugs from friends, love from my momma and dadd-o, a phone call with laughter, getting "real" with my girls, a song on the radio, a clear blue sky, a cool breeze at night, Texas wildflowers everywhere I look, prayers, weddings, pregnancies, pending adoptions, college retreats, buying new houses... BLESSINGS from Above that bring me joy in my longing. Joy that births hope.
I'm accepting the fact that I'm lonely. But, I'm also accepting the blessings that come with loneliness along the way. I am complete in Christ... He just has to keep reminding my stubborn heart of that. The world tells me that I'm a 29-year old, single girl, but Jesus tells me that there's so much more to life in Him than that. Elisabeth Elliott's advice was to look at the above verse and be thankful. So, I'm choosing to be thankful for this "light and momentary trouble". In everything, give thanks!
At any rate, I'm reading this chapter on loneliness and it just hits me... THIS is what was wrong with me last week that I couldn't pin-point! You see, last week I was in a f.u.n.k. For no reason what-so-ever. I tried to mask it as I didn't feel well... but my heart was telling me that was not the case. I didn't really pray about it... but I did try to trust that God had me right where He wanted me... that I needed to be in this funk in order to really hear Him.
Hear Him, I did. Loneliness is hard. I crave companionship. I desire to be a wife. I desire to be a mom. I would be lying if it wasn't hard to not have those things... because it is.
I love serious relationships. I love putting my all towards someone I care about. And, honestly, I feel like I'm really good at being in a relationship... sometimes I feel like that's when I'm at my best. But, the reason that I feel that way is because that's what I was built for... to be a helpmate... to be a wife... to be a mother. I was made in the image of God... so duh to that. :)
So. I'm lonely. And there's absolutely nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do about it. It's all up to God's Sovereign plan... and His timing. BUT. (There is a but.) I'm totally okay with being lonely right now. In fact, I kind of enjoy it in a non-depressing way. It brings me closer to Jesus. My desire to know him intimately is greater than any other time in my life. He has done... and WILL do great things! He pulls me in and fills me up with the things I need... be it scripture, words of affirmation from others, quotes, hugs from friends, love from my momma and dadd-o, a phone call with laughter, getting "real" with my girls, a song on the radio, a clear blue sky, a cool breeze at night, Texas wildflowers everywhere I look, prayers, weddings, pregnancies, pending adoptions, college retreats, buying new houses... BLESSINGS from Above that bring me joy in my longing. Joy that births hope.
I'm accepting the fact that I'm lonely. But, I'm also accepting the blessings that come with loneliness along the way. I am complete in Christ... He just has to keep reminding my stubborn heart of that. The world tells me that I'm a 29-year old, single girl, but Jesus tells me that there's so much more to life in Him than that. Elisabeth Elliott's advice was to look at the above verse and be thankful. So, I'm choosing to be thankful for this "light and momentary trouble". In everything, give thanks!
I have hope in the loneliness.
good words and a good attitude. glad you're putting your hope in Christ because sometimes you're lonely even when you're married.
ReplyDeletesweet, honest words. i heart your heart.
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