it's official. i'm random.

Some of the random things I've thought about today...
documented for your entertainment or rolling of the eyes...

I'm a calendar freak. I can't have enough calendars. I think I have 4. Naturally, some have events noted that others don't... therefore I'm "caught by surprise" often. 4 calendars don't help... they hinder.

Almost every morning of my sophomore year of high school, I would play "You Gotta Be" by Desree whilst getting ready. Now that was a little ridiculous.

Little known fact... I am a licensed Property and Casualty Insurance agent. I have never used it, and probably never will. But, when the boss tells you to do something, sometimes you have to take one for the team and pass a test you know nothing about. If you have questions about your homeowners policy, you can ask. But, I may not be able to help you.

Linda and I watch a show, that shall remain nameless, that we have dubbed "the shame spiral" show. It's like watching a car crash... we can't stop watching. It should be noted that we no longer watch it because we like the story line... we now watch to purely make fun of every character, every eye glance and every crazy line uttered. It will be missed, as it's in its final season.

I can't say no to TOMS shoes. I go to order some for my cousin, and I end up with a pair myself. This has happened twice... and I'd much rather be barefoot or in flip flops... but at least it's for a good cause

JUST realized that my passport may or may not expire before I go to my cousin's wedding at the end of May. Let the panic commence until I get home to check. This will probably freak my mom and aunt out more than me... :)

I'm currently reading about
5 books. This goes against everything in me... but I'm allowing myself to do it. I'm confused at times. Simplify, Decker, simplify.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I have unlimited access to
free iTunes. However the fact of the matter is I have no access to anything free in regards to iTunes. I get these charges on my debit card and I'm taken back. I think iTunes should make a VIP club to get free iTunes... I probably wouldn't meet the requirements, but by goodness gracious, it would give me something to strive for...

I've lived in Austin for 5.5 of the last 6.5 years and I'm about to move into my
6th place here. I need to stop moving. It's a wonder how people keep up with me, much less that I actually go "home" to the right place. And I really want an address stamp for longer than a year. Maybe the solution is a PO Box...

One day last Spring, my friend and I went to another church to hear these authors speak. During the praise and worship time, a singer on stage literally
jumped OUT of her skirt. Yes, it fell to the ground and then she jumped out of it. She ran off the stage and then came back out. We all cheered. "O Happy Day" will never be the same...


hope in the loneliness.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18

I was recently reading a chapter in Elisabeth Elliott's Passion & Purity and realized something I didn't like. I'm lonely. A ri-di-cu-lous notion when you a) look at my life and how crazy busy I am and b) know how many amazing people I have in my life that I'm always seeing, talking to or emailing. If anything, I should be the complete opposite of lonely.

At any rate, I'm reading this chapter on loneliness and it just hits me... THIS is what was wrong with me last week that I couldn't pin-point! You see, last week I was in a f.u.n.k. For no reason what-so-ever. I tried to mask it as I didn't feel well... but my heart was telling me that was not the case. I didn't really pray about it... but I did try to trust that God had me right where He wanted me... that I needed to be in this funk in order to really hear Him.

Hear Him, I did. Loneliness is hard. I crave companionship. I desire to be a wife. I desire to be a mom. I would be lying if it wasn't hard to not have those things... because it is.

I love serious relationships. I love putting my all towards someone I care about. And, honestly, I feel like I'm really good at being in a relationship... sometimes I feel like that's when I'm at my best. But, the reason that I feel that way is because that's what I was built for... to be a helpmate... to be a wife... to be a mother. I was made in the image of God... so duh to that. :)

So. I'm lonely. And there's absolutely nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do about it. It's all up to God's Sovereign plan... and His timing. BUT. (There is a but.) I'm totally okay with being lonely right now. In fact, I kind of enjoy it in a non-depressing way. It brings me closer to Jesus. My desire to know him intimately is greater than any other time in my life. He has done... and WILL do great things! He pulls me in and fills me up with the things I need... be it scripture, words of affirmation from others, quotes, hugs from friends, love from my momma and dadd-o, a phone call with laughter, getting "real" with my girls, a song on the radio, a clear blue sky, a cool breeze at night, Texas wildflowers everywhere I look, prayers, weddings, pregnancies, pending adoptions, college retreats, buying new houses... BLESSINGS from Above that bring me joy in my longing. Joy that births hope.

I'm accepting the fact that I'm lonely. But, I'm also accepting the blessings that come with loneliness along the way. I am complete in Christ... He just has to keep reminding my stubborn heart of that. The world tells me that I'm a 29-year old, single girl, but Jesus tells me that there's so much more to life in Him than that. Elisabeth Elliott's advice was to look at the above verse and be thankful. So, I'm choosing to be thankful for this "light and momentary trouble". In everything, give thanks!

I have hope in the loneliness.


I *heart* Austin

Ever since I was a child, I've been fascinated by the Texas Capitol. I can remember the first time I walked into it, talked to my mom under the dome and looked at all of the awesome paintings I had seen in my social studies book. (On a side note, I also got my picture by the Statue of Liberty's finger that fell off and was on display... again... fascinated!)

So, when I moved to Austin in 2004, all I wanted was to see the Capitol in my view everyday. I was so excited when I would round the curve onto South 183 and was able to see the spec of the Capitol on a clear day! Then I moved jobs, and got to see it everyday in my rear-view... and then I moved to Dallas.

Two years ago this week (April 21st - Battle of San Jacinto day - to be exact), I moved back to Austin. And I was blessed with a job that is literally blocks away from the Capitol.

I found myself, every morning when I saw it, thanking God for bringing me back to this fantastic city. I smile every time I see it... because it is proof that God answers prayers, that He is sovereign with each little step I take and that I am right where He wants me. When I've had my toughest days, that building helps me to remember to not dwell on what I don't have, but rather the blessings that I do have.

Man, I love Austin...



I'm writing this blog with a sad, sad heart. Yesterday afternoon, mom and dad had to put our Maggie girl down. She was 14... literally our dog for 1/2 of my life. She was a great pup... and really didn't lose that "puppiness" until her last days. She had a long, great life... and was the best dog we could've asked for. Maggie was so many things, but at the very least:

a cuddlier
the greeter
the pool lifeguard
gentle & kind
a lap dog
a smiler
a mistaken identity of a cat

Mags was just a great dog. She will be missed.

Maggie Texas-Annabelle Black-Dog Decker

Love Lustres at Calvary

Over the past few months, my dear, sweet and fun friend, Becca, talked about this book called The Valley of Vision.

After reading many of her tweets, listening to her talk about this book... I finally buckled down and bought it. Man... this book is incredible. It's the kind of book that you can look up just about anything you are feeling or going through and have a prayer to pray or meditation to reflect.

So, it was only fitting that they actually read one of these prayers during the Easter service, whilst I'm sitting next to Miss Becca! I wanted to share it, because it is pow-er-ful. And I've been reflecting on this prayer since Sunday.

Love Lustres at Calvary


Enlarge my heart, warm my affections, open my lips,
supply words that proclaim "Love lustres at Calvary'.
There grace removes my burdens and heaps them on thy Son,
made a transgressor, a curse, and sin for me;
There the sword of thy justice smote the man, thy fellow;
There thy infinite attributes were magnified,
and infinite atonement was made;
There infinite punishment was due,
and infinite punishment was endured.
Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,
cast off that I might be brought in,
trodden down as an enemy
that I might be welcomed as a friend,
surrendered to hell's worst
that I might attain heaven's best,
stripped that I might be clothed,
wounded that I might be healed,
athirst that I might drink,
tormented that I might be comforted,
made a shame that I might inherit glory,
entered darkness that I might have eternal light.
My Savior wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes,
groaned that I might have endless song,
endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
bore a thorned crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness,
expired that I might for ever live.