it's weird. i've had this crazy sense of peace about the whole thing. did i cry? yes. am i scared? yes. am i worried? yes. am i afraid about having a mortgage and bills and loans? yes. but... but i am not worried about my future. i know, and i firmly believe, that the Lord has had this planned since the beginning of time. i believe that He is Sovereign. i believe that He is in control. i believe that He has a future and a plan for me. and oh my word, i'm SO SO SO thankful for this sweet Truth.
i've been blessed with so much. and i thank the Lord that He has chosen me to walk through this time of big questions and uncertainty. He wants to teach me things. He wants to reveal Himself to me. He wants to grow me. He wants my heart to be more centered on Him. And THAT, my blog reader friends, is what I'm so abundantly thankful for. I will come out better because of this.
at first, i was really worried about 2 things: 1) that i would have to battle myself. i can tear myself down faster than anyone can. i was really afraid that i would allow the enemy to attack me and kick me while i was down. 2) that i would have to swallow a big, fat pride pill. no one ever wants to say, "oh yeah, i was fired."
in less than 7 days, the Lord has seriously protected me from these 2 worries. 1) i know myself. i'm reminded of who i am in Christ. i know that this is part of God's plan for me. i know that i'm not at fault. and i also know that i was not happy in my job. i loved my job because of the people. but i did not love my job on monday thru friday, from 8am to 5pm. i wasn't happy. this is God saying, "Sarah, I want more for you. and I will provide a way for you." and this is me saying, "God. You're right. and You're awesome." 2) for some reason, it hasn't been hard telling people i was fired. it's amazing how many people i know that have been in this same situation. it's incredible for people to say to me, "i know your character and work ethic, and it doesn't change anything." the people that know me the best, know who i am.
of course, the Lord is teaching me some hard lessons. but, He's also shown me mercy in this. so... let's talk about some of the cool situations that have gone down since December 2nd...
1. my mom and dad. seriously, i don't know what i could do without them. they love me and support me... no matter what. they have my back. and i'm blessed.
2. on saturday i was supposed to be at my office Christmas party. obviously, that didn't quite work out. but... i did get to go to one of my best friend's first wedding shower. and... on top of that, my other 2 best friends were in town for the shower as well. BAMS {beth.amber.melissa.sarah} doesn't get the opportunity to see each other often... but we did on saturday. and THAT is a God thing. He is always perfect with His timing. their hugs meant the world to me.
3. friends. i have amazing friends in Austin. these people truly live life with me and support me. they pray for me, check on me, buy me lunch, and just spend time with me. i may not have a job, but i've been pretty busy this week :)
4. i got a roommate at the end of October. i lost my job at the first of December. i know this is not coincidence. God knew i needed someone here to support me and to help me financially. i thank Him for Ginger often.
5. Christmas. my family and one particular friend *cough cough beth* have been hounding me on not giving presents this year for Christmas. or if i do give presents, they need to be magazine subscriptions. i had done the majority of my shopping the day before i was fired. so for the most part, everyone was already taken care of before all this stuff came down. but, a few weeks ago, i started asking the Lord to really open my eyes to Christmas. for letting the real Truth of this season to sink into my heart. and, i can honestly say that the last week has helped that come to pass. wrapping each of these gifts, i'm wrapping them with love, i'm giving out of love. not because i should or should not... not because it's what i'm supposed to do during Christmas, it's because i want to give. to show others my love for them. i want to show them my appreciation. and give because i've been given the ultimate Gift.
6. my "special" Christmas tree. it is janky, it is defective, it is leaning, it is not symmetrical, it is not my most beautiful tree. but. with lights, with ribbon, with ornaments i've gathered throughout the years, it is beautiful. and it's perfect. i still look at it the way i've looked at every other tree i've had. i water it the way i always do. i switch around the ornaments like i always do. i put presents under it. i sit in the dark and admire it. i have to adjust the tree stand about 3 times a day to keep it from falling over. i feel like i have a lot in common with my tree. i've been made into something beautiful. something that God continues to prune and love on. something that is cared for.
7. i like not having a job. this may change. but, honestly, that's kind of my greatest fear right now. i like having time to do the things that i enjoy. ok scratch that, i love it. it's my hope and prayer that whatever my next job is, that it allows me time to volunteer, or go get coffee at 3pm, or eat lunch with a friend and not have to rush, or work from home in my sweats.
8. layla. i think she's died and gone to Heaven. this dog wants to snuggle with me... she's NEVER been a snuggler. she wants to be around me constantly. i take it as she loves me. maybe she's just freaking out.
9. 508. even though i haven't done much with 508 this month, i'm going to have a lot more time to work on my projects. i think i'm FINALLY going to be able to mark a few homes off the list. and that will feel really good.
10. wrapping presents. i'm finally getting to wrap presents the way i've always wanted to... creatively. i have the time. and it's awesome :)
ok.. that's the top 10 good good good things going on right now. maybe this is entry number 1 of an unemployment blog series...
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