Hi, my name is Sarah. And I'm 31. And, for the first time in my life, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. At one time, last month, I joked that I was going through a mid-life crisis. But, the sweet thing, is that it hasn't felt like a crisis. I lost a job I felt I was going to be at for a LONG time in December. Accepted a new position in a career I knew absolutely nothing about. Realized after 3 months that I was miserable and it wasn't how I should be spending my time. Quit that job... all because I felt like the Lord was calling me to take a leap of faith and trust Him. And now, one month, and one birthday, later... I'm here. Waiting. Praying. Trusting. God... in His faithfulness, has not let me go through this season. He is my Provider, Counselor, Teacher, Leader, Shepherd, Savior. He has also helped me to see, yet again, that I have the most incredible support system. I could not be more blessed. Paula and Terry are the hands and feet of Jesus. My Henderson family have been nothing but supportive and encouraging. And my sweet friends are covering me in prayer and laughter. Community is key, people. I'll preach that till the day I leave this earth.
So let's go through a few things that I've learned/figured out during this season...
God + Boxes don't equal good.
I tried to put God in a box. And well, He doesn't really do that. When I lost my job, I wanted to take a position that required me to lean on Him every.single.day. Well, He has answered that prayer. And not in the way I hoped :) Lesson learned. At any rate, when I took this job, I didn't have many other irons in the fire. I wanted to stretch myself, not rely on my own abilities and talents. So, I told myself... and the God of the Universe... that if I took this job, I would lean on Him daily and that would give Him glory. Yep, I was telling God how I would give Him glory. Instead of laughing in my face, He just let me try. But, I learned quickly enough... that's not how He rolls. And thank goodness for that :)
I don't want life to be the same.
I'm 100% beyond blessed. Everyone and everything in my life has been given to me. I promise that I have learned to not take those things for granted. However, I don't want my life to look the same as it has. No, my life has never been horrible... nor do I want it to be horrible... but I just want my life, my heart, my intentions, my time, my service to look different. If I end up with another 8-5 Monday through Friday job behind a desk, that is great... but I want my time outside of that to not be used in such a selfish way. I also don't want my money or even my vacation time to be all used up on little ol' me. I want to give more. I want to go and serve more. I want to take those mission trips I've always wanted to take. If the Lord opens a door in the ministry or in some kind of philanthropic organization... I want my life and my career to be the same. I want an overflow from one to the other. I want to live out my passion for Jesus by helping and serving others. I don't want my life to look the same as it has.
I want to be unique.
Some of you probably laughed at this title. Because, let's face it... Sarah Decker is pretty unique. :) I'm different, and I know it. But, I'm actually talking about a different kind of unique. For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of taking a chance or a risk. Put my house up for rent? Ok. Downsize to a bedroom again? Ok. Leave my beloved Austin? Sure. Leave Texas? If that's what you want, Jesus. I'm at a point where I want the Lord to open my eyes to really see things from His view. I want to be open to Him using me. I'm so grateful for every opportunity I've been given so far... but I want more. I want to be apart of something bigger. I want to really just LIVE. Apparently, I've got one free spirit that is screaming to come out.
I want to make a difference.
I've been blessed to be a partner at a church the past 4 years that reiterates over and over again that God uses us ALL of the time... no matter where our circumstances. And, I truly believe that. I know that I don't have to work for a charity in order to make a difference in someone's life. I know that I can do that behind the desk at a state association. And I believe that He did use me for the past 8 years in that environment. But now, I want to make a difference with my life... and not just my job. I want to work somewhere that I can see change being made. See lives being made better. I want to fight for those that can't help themselves. I want to live out the call on my life, on all of our lives, to make disciples and to help the widow and the orphan. I want a career that is also a passion. I want to put myself into something 100%.
I want to have a garage sale.
Only because I need to lighten the mood a little... and because I like lists in increments of 5, I want to have a garage sale. It's time to purge some of this stuff. So... stay tuned. Because I'm thinking I may get creative and have an online garage sale. Maybe through Facebook. Or some other fancy website I'll find out about in the near future. At any rate, I just need to clean house. I need to be in a place that if I move to a different city, or if I rent my house for a year and move back in with my old roommate, it will be a little bit simpler because of a big fat purging of stuff I don't really need.So... if you're still reading, thankyouverymuch. I ask you to please say a few prayers for me... as this is kind of a big time in my life. And, if you think about it, email me (or comment on this blog) some organizations I can look up to see if they have openings. Anything would help!
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